Getting into Dodge

Incidentally, that is the slogan of the town... "Getting out of (crossed out) into (in red) Dodge." Does that make sense? Maybe I will post a picture.

We arrived to Dodge City, around midnight on the 23rd. As we drove in, I was exhausted. Our three day trip almost took four days and needless to say, despite that fact we had no particular timeframe... we were stressed. We had only about three weeks to prepare for this journey and once we got in the car, we let out a heavy sigh.

Ok, here we go. This. Is. Happening.

We passed through a town called Spearville and "freaked out" doesn't begin to describe the feeling I had knowing we were so close to Dodge. Hundreds of red lights flashed at us in the distance and it wasn't until we got right up to the lights that we could tell they were... wind turbines.

Hundreds of Wind Turbines.

I guess that's not so dramatic, but they are kinda scary looking at night. Actually basically everything in the plains looks scary at night except for the stars.

Those are shiny.

We finally enter Dodge City and we pass the meat packing plant. Ew, stinky. We pass a sign that says, "Beef, Beer, Bliss." Where am I....What have I done...are some of the first thoughts.

My good friend, Deanna, who works at the parish David works at greeted us at the door of our new, rented home. It's huge! At least for us, it's huge. I'm just so overwhelmed, I physically cannot take anything in... I just want to sleep.

Unpacking began the next day, but David took me on a tour to see the sights. Well, I feel like Kansas is so plain and flat, I was astounded not to be able to see the Rocky Mountains from here. We went to the mall. It's like six stores. No, I'm exaggerating... maybe eight. I saw a giant bull monument, a wax museum for the Wild West gunslingers, Wyatt Earp street, Gunsmoke street, and a Sonic - I was happy about that.

I began to clean our house. Our house had been on the market and not lived in for a couple of years, so it was very dirty and dingy. I literally cried my eyes out every single day the first week. Not that I regretted moving - I didn't - but I was mad. Mad at God for taking away our home in Michigan right after I had put so much work and money in at, 7, 8, 9 months pregnant to paint it so pretty, the way I wanted it and sent me to a house where I would have to start all over. The first week was a lot of hard work, and a lot of tears. I physically ached with my anger and sadness.  I didn't want to tell anyone, because no one really understood why we decided to move to Kansas - especially to Dodge City - and I didn't want anyone to say anything that would discourage me or make me question if we had done the right thing. I teetered on the edge of wanting to share my burdens but wanting to prove I could handle this.

Then I softened a bit. We went to Mass at our new parish, and I loved it. It's beautiful. We met some of the parishioners who were incredibly generous to us in providing meals and invitations for fellowship.

Then I softened a lot. I went to Confession. I didn't realize that the root of my anger and sadness was a terrible mistrust of others and a lack of forgiveness that I held in my heart through the duration of this move. I never wanted to move. I just knew God was calling us to move, and I had peace about that decision. One thing I have learned in ministry/life is when the Lord says GO, you go. And it WILL be ok. I made one of the best confessions I think I have made in my life and I walked out feeling so unbelievably free that I could have floated away in these Kansas winds were it not for my extra baby weight keeping me grounded. ;)

People ask me if I like Dodge City. Eh. It's growing on me. But God doesn't care if I live in an exotic paradise or have access to shopping and sightseeing. Not that Michigan necessarily is an exotic paradise. God wants me to be a saint. He is molding me in everything, wherever He leads me in this life, to be a saint. Whether I have financial success or I am dirt poor, whether I live in the mountains or the plans, have great health or failing health... He is forming me, shaping me. I am the clay in the artist's hands, and I submit myself to that, and I desire the same for my children. I want them to be saints. That is the most important thing. And because that is the most important thing, everything else seems less monumental. Everything seems manageable, and I have peace.

I already see benefits in my family... For the first time in my life I have kept up the laundry for more than a week. Ha! I have cooked every meal but three or four at home. We have a routine. The kids take their naps, they go to bed, they stay in their own beds. All night. It's a miracle. We walk more, we pray more, and we have stepped back from our over committed lives to regroup and start again. We have played music more!

So while I do not "love" Dodge City. I am happy. We are happy. And we are looking forward to the rest of this journey. :)