Pope Francis, Gays, and Kim Davis

This will probably be the shortest blog I have ever written...

One set of people is praising Pope Francis for meeting with Kim Davis, the Kentucky clerk who refuses to issue marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples. They say, HA! Stinkin' left wingers!

One set of people is praising Pope Francis for meeting with a gay couple and says that the meeting with Kim Davis was a setup. They say, HA! Stinkin' right wingers!

My point: WHO CARES?!?!?! He met with Fidel Castro too, folks! He met with a lot of high and low class saints and sinners.

That's the point though, isn't it? Jesus' love doesn't discriminate. Jesus doesn't say you're not good enough to be loved because your politics aren't in line with My Gospel. He doesn't say you're not good enough for Me to associate with because of the political implications of that association.  He doesn't say you're not good enough for Me to love because of your sin. The Church doesn't have borders or left wings and right wings -- at least it isn't suppose to! If our faith tells us anything at all it should be that Jesus Himself aligned with the persecuted, the unloved, the unlovable, the outcast, the lost.

I don't know about you, but that's me.

The Pope, and all of us Christians who claim to represent Christ and be His hands and feet, and live out the Gospel shouldn't discriminate in our love either. Meet with Kim Davis and get to know her. Maybe you'll find you could love her even if you disagree with her. Meet with the prisoners. Meet with gay and lesbian and transsexual and immigrant and your neighbor for crying out loud.

Jesus didn't accept all forms of behavior and consequently, neither does the Church, however, Jesus RADICALLY LOVED all those He met, and if we are to be like Him, we MUST LOVE!!!!!!! We must love even those we find most unlovable. Jesus said even hypocrites love their friends, but we are called to love even our enemies. I don't think the word "enemies" just means those who hate us, but I think it means those who we ourselves dislike, hate, or find difficult to love. That love causes us to RADICALLY CHANGE OUR LIVES!!

Stop throwing the Pope's visit in other people's faces and take a look in the mirror instead.

Can you love better? I think you can. I know I can. Can you see the face of Jesus Christ in Kim Davis or Fidel Castro or Cecile Richards, knowing He gave His life for them and wants nothing more than to wrap His arms around them, too?

We politicize love and what do we get... gossip, hate, pain, division, pride.

I have tried to pray, "Lord, help me love this person! Help me see you in this person!" I fail, but I know I can't love God fully if I refuse to love His children.  Knowing, as Catholic speaker Mike Patin says, "Everyone loves somebody, everyone has lost something or someone, and everyone is fighting a battle." You just don't know their battles, so please... no matter how fervent the disagreement, choose the higher road to try to love. 

God is love and love is impossible without Him. Ask His help. 

But stop limiting God's love. The Pope can meet with whomever he wants. He can extend Christ's love because ...

it belongs to EVERYONE.  And we belong to God.

Amen.

Post- Partum Weightloss Again!

Welp, we have reached the official six week mark as of last week so I am back to the grind! This time, earlier than with my third baby! My progress last time motivates me this time!

Just a recap.. I lost between 25-30lbs between my third and fourth children. When I found out we were expecting again, I tried to stick with my diet and exercise routines but I just couldn't. Morning sickness aggravated by over-exertion, weird cravings, and needing to keep something in my stomach at all times in order to be able to function throughout the day threw a wrench in my new-found health endeavors. But... this is my before and after from round one of Post-Partum weight loss:

Oh muscle. I miss you. 

Anywho, now it is time to start again!! My goal isn't to be tiny, it's to be healthy and strong! I felt amazing when I was really sticking to taking care of my health, even though it is BRUTALLY rough to start all over! But if four kids don't demand you get in shape, I don't know what does. Sheesh do I need the energy!!

I actually started exercising again last week. My friends and I have been working out at 5am Monday - Friday. I only missed Thursday because my infant kept me up literally all night and I needed to sleep before my husband went to work. 

I have started ChaLEAN Extreme DVD's again from Beachbody. I don't sell Beachbody, but I am a hardcore believe in their workouts!! Strength training is the way to go for me. I love it. I feel empowered, there is less strain on my joints, and overall I just enjoy it more than those bouncing around sweating a lot but too fast to get proper technic sorts of videos that to be honest, I can't even do. 

I will do the strength training until I am better able to do the cardio -type workouts like Jillian and 21 Day Fix. Once I am stronger, it actually makes those workouts more enjoyable. I can barely do a pushup at the moment. 

My eating was AWFUL this past week. I had good intentions but I am still undoing some really bad habits of eating whatever sounded good at the moment, since that was the only thing I could do for about nine months! My plan is to go back to the 100 Days of Real Food plan/blog, starting tomorrow. 

So, here are the stats:

Starting weight before pregnancy: 155ish

Weight gained in pregnancy: 50lbs

Weight lost 6 weeks post-pregnancy: 20lbs

Weight last week: 185

Weight today 181

Week One Weight Loss: -4lbs

Not bad for indulging in ice cream and extra helpings of whatever the heck we had. 

Here goes for another week! I'll be back next Monday with my results. 

Before pics this time: 

Pray for me... gotta get up earrrrrllly! But you know what? The way I feel after a workout is worth it! I promise myself to take care of myself so I can take care of everyone else. :) 

God bless!

Sexual Sin Hurts Everyone

When I heard of the Ashley Madison hacking/scandal where at least two prominent Christian men -- one of those men a prominent vlogger and one, the one and only Josh Duggar -- were ousted as members of the site which promised to provide marital affairs .... I thought....

I am not surprised.

I can't tell you how often I see/hear/or am asked to pray for women who mourn their boyfriends' or husbands' affairs, porn addictions, and sometimes even criminal sexual acts.

More and more men (and women) are falling into deep and serious sexual sin and I am 100 percent convinced that if abuse was not a factor in their own upbringing... we can lay the blame squarely on addictions to pornography.

It seems anonymous, but it isn't. Porn is a serious sexual sin - viewing, taking part in, or distributing. Pornography takes the mind and senses into darker and less satisfying places until finally the images aren't enough.

Please don't misunderstand... I am absolving no one of their own free will and lack of self-control, but the ease in which porn is accessed, the ease in which one can become hooked to porn, and the transformation of sexual desire from self-giving to predation lead down a darker and darker path until...

It isn't good enough to sit behind the screen.

Porn makes it easy for someone to take, to grasp, to control, and to feel powerful, when in reality, porn itself takes over that control. Porn itself takes.

Porn makes its viewer powerless.

Porn emasculates men and objectifies women.

People are aghast when a Christian or self-proclaimed moralist is caught in serious sin. I myself have experienced similar feelings when someone I respect is "found out" to be...

a sinner.

Here is the thing though... sexual sin doesn't discriminate. Pornography addiction doesn't discriminate and until you KNOW THE MEANING OF YOUR BODY AND THE GIFT OF SEX YOU WILL NEVER OVERCOME THIS SIN!

NEITHER REPRESSION NOR INDULGENCE ARE THE ANSWER!

Sorry to shout. I just can't place enough emphasis on this!

Your body was meant for UNION. Not union with a computer screen. Union with another person if you are called to marriage, or union with God until and if you have a spouse when another person is invited into that one-flesh union. The Trinity is imaged through the human family! Self-giving, life-giving! Total!

And FREE.

Pornography entraps and enslaves. Ask anyone who has tried to quit their addiction. They may not have even realized it was an addiction until they tried to walk away.

What they find tantalizing on screen is meaningless. Empty. Porn reduces healthy sexual desire and the people on screen to little more than a fix for a sexual appetite. Many of those men and women in films or in whatever media was employed to view and produce porn were abused, hate themselves, are hurt and exploited, have disease, are addicted to drugs, and/or are pressured into extreme behaviors by violent and manipulative "producers". A porn user may not think about how degraded the man or woman in a scene may feel or what their parents or children may think. A porn addict may not realize that someone out there loves the people on the other side of that computer screen and that despite the most degrading act they may engage in, they have dignity given to them by God Himself. The same God who sees the woman caught in adultery, yanked from safety, thrown in the street exposed and vulnerable, about to be stoned by hateful men and He reaches out to her, LOVING HER and stepping between her and the men who would harm her.

Sexual sin is never secret. We may think we are safe in the wee hours of the night, clearing viewing histories, and having secret credit cards, etc, but someone knows. God knows, yes. But the way a person addicted to porn looks at an attractive person is telling. The way a person can't look at you is telling. The way they interact is telling.

Just as building virtues can radiate from our mind and heart to our demeanor and interpersonal relationships, so does engaging in serious sin. 

Sexual sin has a ripple effect. Josh Duggar paid a lot of money to keep his sin secret. But Josh Duggar had an addiction that was never quite healed, though I do believe he put in a good effort, and I give him the benefit of the doubt. I have many holy friends who have struggled to be free from this addiction and it is brutal, particularly because it is so easy just to stumble across. However.... Josh and his family tried repression. Repression is trying to ignore desire. Repress those feelings! BAD!

Like Elsa in Frozen -- Conceal, don't feel!!

NO!!! That is NOT THE ANSWER!! Don't repress sexual desire, take it to the Lord! Ask Him to make that desire for beauty and love. Desire without love is lust. It is hate... take, steal, use, abuse.

Look at Sacred art in which the male and female body are painted nude. Those depictions pointed to beauty! The woman as the last creature to be created in God's Kingdom as the crown of all creation, is beautiful!! Her body, our bodies, are beautiful! They are beautiful because they are sacred and fashioned by love Himself.

The way our bodies are treated and depicted in art today, particularly in music and photography, is abusive and vulgar and strips not simply clothes but attempts to strip dignity as well.

Just giving in, sexual revolution, "safe sex"..... indulgence,  is not the answer either!

Just take a cursory look at society at the most sexually "liberated" people.  Miley Cyrus is the first person that comes to mind... Do you think she is happy? Does she exude beauty? Or is she shooting for lust? It is her body and her choice, and in her free will she can choose to express herself however she wants but let me be perfectly clear...

She deserves love.

Her vulgarity and constant tongue sticking out don't say, "I love myself." They literally say, I care nothing about myself, take what you please, whomever wants it can have it.

When we know we have something precious, we protect it. 

We must protect our sexuality from being exploited, abused, used, or manipulated.

So where do we go from here?  It is pretty impossible to not come across porn. In many ways, I fear for my boys and I am already praying that they won't become enslaved to lust and addictions driven by lust.

1. Thank God for beauty. We are teaching our kids now to appreciate true beauty. To acknowledge the beauty around us in nature or people and say, "Thank you, God, for this beauty."

My son told me that a waitress was lovely.  I don't laugh at him or tease him or tell him that is inappropriate, I say, praise God that in his innocence he recognizes beauty. I said, yes.. she is very lovely. God makes beautiful people! When we thank God instead of turn to lust, we have to acknowledge that this person is not ours for the taking. The person belongs to God, and as you are wonderfully and fearfully made, so are they.

2. Take insecurities to the Lord. Thank Him for the beauty He has given to others as well. 

In my own insecurity, when I see a beautiful woman, whose beauty I am tempted to envy, I have learned to thank God for making her beautiful. A priest taught me that when I confessed my struggle with jealousy. It has truly been transformative for me. I can say I really have become a different person through this regular practice. The more we inflict self-hatred upon our minds and hearts, the easier it is to fall into sin against our bodies.

3. Ask the Lord to transform your view of the human body as an image which reflects the Trinity and gift of LOVE - Free, Total, Faithful, Fruitful. 

We are currently in the market for Sacred Art to display in our home. Art that depicts the beauty of the human body to counter what my kids may come across in magazine stands at the checkout, or media, or even in people around them. That is where we are starting with the kids. It is the difference between an incredible symphony composed by Mozart and really any pop song on top 40 these days. There just is no comparison between making something beautiful and making something marketable.

4. We fall so we know the experience of getting back up. Go to Confession and move on. 

If you have a porn addiction, please realize that you are not bad. You need support, and the more we bring our struggles into the light, the easier it is to face them and to heal and move forward. Go to Confession, ask a friend to pray for you, set up an accountability system, change your routine to avoid long periods alone in vulnerable times to the day.  The book Spiritual Combat by Dom Lorenzo Scapoli states that when you sin you should repent and go about your day as though it didn't occur. The temptation is to punish ourselves by reliving our sin, but if we do that, we are more likely to think we can do no better than sin and we will repeat it again! Thank God for His great mercy! But do what you have to do to break free from the addiction.

5. Cling to the Lord and know how much He loves you. 

People say that Jesus accepted everyone. Mary Magdalene the prostitute, Matthew the Tax Collector...The thing people overlook is that the biggest sinners in the Bible we not simply "accepted" but LOVED and they radically changed their lives because they encountered His love. He loves you. He calls you to the best version of yourself and when you are in love, it gives you courage to do radical things including radically change terrible habits and cast off the shackles of addiction. Pray and take advantage of the grace that He offers you to overcome.

That's it for this blog. It has just been on my heart for awhile and has actually taken me weeks to finish. I pray for you and I pray for your freedom if this is your struggle and your healing if this is your wound. I pray for your families. There is no greater gift we can give to someone who struggles with porn addiction than our prayers.


If you need more inspiration, check out this book. The book is called Restored and is about True Stories of Love and Trust After Porn. My friend wrote a chapter in it. Check it out and if you need additional resources, let me know and I will direct you to some awesome support!

God bless!

This is a homily from our pastor, Fr. Wesley Schawe that I meant to post awhile ago! It is just as relevant now as it was then, so I would like to share it now... Please pray for my family and I as we feel we have been hit with many, many things at once! When it rains it pours! God bless you and thank you for your prayers for our family and ministry! 

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Wednesday, July 15, is quickly approaching. It will be the day after watching the KC Royals play in a bonus game—also known as the All Star Game—and is traditionally known as the slowest sports day of the year: the one day that there are no major sporting events in the United States. So what do you do on a day when there’s nothing to talk about? Apparently, you just talk about nothing—because that’s what they do.

But not the case in the world of faith right now. Instead, we find ourselves this weekend with more to digest than one can take in at a single time. In particular, 2 events that have shifted the ground under our feet have arrived barely one week apart. First, Pope Francis released his 2^nd encyclical—but really the first that is his primary thought—called Laudato Si, on the Care for Our Common Home. Then yesterday, as expected, the United States Supreme Court ruled that there is a constitutional right for someone to marry someone else of the same sex. The impact of both appear to be far-reaching and long-lasting.

Is it possible that God would give us readings this weekend that could help us find our footing on both major events? When you consider that He chose the readings—not me—then it’s very likely that there is something timely that He wants to tell us. Keep in mind that all things will develop over time. Full disclosure: I’ve not ever read the new encyclical. But on a weekend that is anything but the slowest news day of the year: why not let the Lord speak first?

God fashioned all things that they might have being, and the creatures of the world are wholesome. Those simple words from the Book of Wisdom adknowledge that all things come from God, and were created for the good. That means that the earth—our common home—is a gift from God that has been entrusted to us. Yes, human beings are the crown of God’s creation, but that doesn’t mean that we are to use everything below us—animals, plants, water, minerals—like a disposable camera, to use it for my purposes then move on. And that is particularly problematic when it leaves others—especially the poor—without those same resources or, worse yet, to deal with the waste that remains from our own use. 

Some would say that we should leave a conversation about the environment to a scientist—which, ironically Pope Francis is a scientist. But even if He were not, the claim that Scripture and Tradition have nothing to say about the environment is a claim that God has nothing to say about the environment, which I don’t believe. If God fashioned all things that they might have being, then that means that all things—including the environment—have a spiritual dimension. 

And that very same realization: that God fashioned all things that they might have being, and the creatures of the world are wholesome, is the same realization that everything is created for a specific purpose. Even marriage, which existed long before Christianity, has as its natural purpose the one-flesh union of man and woman. That one-flesh union may or may not bear fruit in children, based on age, illness, or infertility. Producing children is not the basis of a valid marriage, the marital union is. Does that exclude certain people from the possibility of marriage? Yes. Does that make them any less wholesome? Absolutely not. But by creating a right to something, we imply that wanting it is the only prerequisite. In doing so, we forget that God fashioned all things. I’m not called to a one-flesh union of marriage either, even though I recognize what a good thing that is.

From this earth, to the people who inhabit it, to the things we do on it, all are ordered to the good. We are all guilty at times of introducing disorder—but in this particular time, the Book of Wisdom is appropriately names—asking God to lead us to the Truth.

Childbirth and the Crucifixion

Wow! What an amazingly holy, incredible, terrifying, awful, beautiful experience!!

We just recently welcomed our fourth child into the world - Diego Francis, 8lb 4oz, 21 inches long on August 5th. I thought he would never arrive because my labor just kept starting and stopping for days. It was nuts! I would tell David, "Don't go anywhere -- this is it!" And then it would stop and I felt like the biggest failure of a child-bearer.

And, I was big. Very big.

So big, in fact, that people gently, in hushed tones, confided in me that they thought I was having a giant baby. Or twins.

#thingsthatmakepregnantwomencry

Every labor is different, but the reason I feel called to share this one is that this one was my first med-free delivery.

With Damien, the epidural was amazing and exactly the right choice for me.

With Lucia, I got the epidural too late -- she was born twenty minutes after it was put in.

With Elias, the epidural numbed my left leg. I was quite the sight, carrying my baby in my hospital gown, dragging my left leg behind me. It's the stuff of horror films.

So, this time around I thought, you know... I've basically given birth without the epidural twice. I think I can do this one without the epidural. Also, unlike other services... if you get the epidural, you still have to pay for it whether it worked or not. There is no money-back guarantee, so I just didn't want to throw more hundreds of dollars down the drain in the event that it didn't work for me again.

Little did I realize, this would be the longest... labor..... EVER! Starting and stopping all weekend, finally getting revved up enough to where we could go in on a Tuesday around noon after laboring all morning and finally ultimately giving birth on Wednesday around 8:30am.

I also had a stomach bug and hadn't eaten since breakfast Monday morning. It was brutal!!

But I am already overly confident that I could do it again. See, what grace God gives mothers that makes us open to life! (Though, someone asked me if I would do natural labor again right after Diego's birth and I said I never wanted to have another child ever, ever, ever again.)

#thingsnottoaskmomsrightafterlabor


Anyway, I digress... the main point of this post is to share how I reflected on the Sorrowful Mysteries throughout my labor and that is honestly what got me through the frustrations, the hunger, the fatigue (I had been up almost 48 hours by the time Diego was born due to laboring off and on throughout Monday night), the pain, etc. It was a very sanctifying experience for me and I am grateful for that spiritual growth and also even just learning a lot about the amazingness of the human body and miracle of life!

THE 1ST SORROWFUL MYSTERY: The Agony in the Garden

Truly no one can go through labor but you as the mama. No one can take this cup from you. No one can really do anything to share the pain along with you. It is your cross to bear. There were times in the labor when I felt totally alone - that in refusing pain medication, no one could really help me.  Then there were times when I looked at David and said, "Are you still sleeping? Could you not stay awake with me for one hour?" :P  As the nurse came in and told me to concentrate and focus on making the contractions more productive, she turned to David and said, "Aw, hon, would you like a blanket and pillow?" Yeah. Get him a blanket and pillow.

#thingsthatmakelaboringwivesangry


I was able to really meditate during the contractions and could actually sing hymns during them! I became so relaxed, though that I ended up slowing down the contractions! How crazy is that?! When the nurse came in and threatened pitocin, I knew I needed to get out of meditation and focus on the pain. All of a sudden, the contractions strengthened. I was fascinated by this process!! And moved to reflect on the second sorrowful mystery...

THE 2ND SORROWFUL MYSTERY: The Scourging at the Pillar

In reflecting on this mystery, I kept repeating to myself that my pain threshold is stronger than I think it is. I imagined the pain Jesus felt, being scourged over and over, and yet how He survived and bore the pain. At this point, my water partially broke (I HIGHLY recommend the Side-lying release move on www.spinningbabies.com -- It moved things along when I stalled out twice! NO Pitocin!)  So the pain became more intense. The fatigue was incredible. Trying to focus on endurance was what I tied to this mystery... Not to mention, there is no modesty in childbirth. Jesus was stripped and humiliated for the sake of our lives, for our salvation. In labor, modesty goes out the window for the sake of bringing new life into the world. It is humbling to be so vulnerable, but my focus was so much on that of my little baby, that I didn't care. I imagine it was the same for our Lord... that His focus was so much on us, His children, that He didn't even think about His own suffering or humiliation.

THE 3RD SORROWFUL MYSTERY: The Crowning with Thorns

This mystery made me laugh, actually, because the only thing I could think of to meditate on was the crowning of my own baby's head! Come on, kid! Show thyself! :) Jesus was given a drink, must have been famished. I was starving and could only eat ice chips! I did sneak a mint or two..... This mystery, though, marked for me my halfway point. I can do this, I told myself over and over. My labor had stalled again and the nurses were literally about to bring in the pitocin when my water really broke. Like... I was wondering if there was actually a baby in there kinda broke. And that is when the pain skyrocketed. David encouragingly told me that my contractions were off the chart.

#thingsthatpaniclaboringwomen

THE 4TH SORROWFUL MYSTERY: The Carrying of the Cross

When my water broke and my stomach consequently deflated like.. I dunno.. about a foot... I realized the weight I had been carrying for so many months. The weight that had bore me down, gave me swollen feet, pained hips, sore back, made my daughter refer to me as a "roly-ball" and caused me to have to wear a multitude of stretchy pants.... The weight was about to be relieved as I laid down this cross... but as with all crosses, the end isn't death but new life, eternal life.

THE 5TH SORROWFUL MYSTERY: The Crucifixion

Not gonna lie. At this point I was screaming. Not bloody murder screaming, but loud enough to think for a moment... I wonder if this is normal... The doctor told me I could still have something for pain if I wanted it... Okay, I said. "But it will have to go in your back."  "No. No I can do this." To me, anyone touching me at that point was a thought more painful than just being left alone to finish this out. I remember a friend telling me that just when you think you can't take it anymore, it's almost over. I honed in on that. It is almost over. Three hours on the cross my Lord, and just when You couldn't take it anymore, it was almost over.

He cried out in a loud voice.

Pierced in His side.

Out flowed blood and water.

I started to push. "No, don't push yet, it's not time." But my body didn't care what time it was, I could not stop. I couldn't stop pushing at all and no amount of telling me to relax would help. It was time.

Three pushes. Out came my boy.

When they placed him on my chest, I couldn't even raise up to look at him. I held him as I trembled uncontrollably from the adrenaline. I couldn't stop shaking. I was in so much pain. But I just held him.

David took out his cell phone camera so I could see the face of our boy on his phone screen.

It was finished. It is accomplished.


_________________________________


While it was certainly my most exhausting and difficult labor, I will always think back on it fondly. It was such a profoundly beautiful agony. The moments David and I sang through the contractions... When David looked at me and told me that I was his hero and he was so proud of me...and that watching me go through this labor and delivery moved him to tears.

That he now understood why men hold doors for women... Why they are called to protect women... because be it physically as mothers or spiritually as mothers, we are able to pour ourselves out to give life in a way that they can't.

It was amazing.

I share this picture with you, even though it isn't the prettiest, but because I am so amazed at the miracle of life. The abundance of love that can lead one to suffer such incredible pain....

Maybe you are a mother who can relate to this. But even if you have not given birth to your kids, if you have adopted, or you are a godmother or take care of others in a nurturing, life-giving way, you understand. Because you love at the capacity which gives you courage to suffer. You love at a capacity which gives you endurance in the midst of suffering. You love at a capacity that offers hope to others in the midst of suffering.


We are so thankful to everyone who has lent a hand, sent us meals and gift cards and diapers, well-wishes, prayers, and love. You are what makes this life beautiful.

God bless!

It is True, Love Has Won.

This blog... I would rather go to the dentist than write this blog, but I would be remiss if I did not briefly address some of the hatred, fallacy, and impending persecution of the Church. I really have taken my time to pray and reflect on the most appropriate way to address the Supreme Court's most recent decision, allowing gay unions to be considered the same as traditional marriage, thus redefining a term used throughout civilization. I think I have to break this down into several parts, so this blog will be in shorter thoughts. Also,  hopefully you can come back and read the rest if you cannot get through the whole thing at once!

PLEASE READ THROUGH THE WHOLE THING! Please don't skip, because we all know out of context means misunderstanding. And commenting out of context is sort of a pet peeve. (Poor St. Paul).

Let us start with the basic:

WHAT IS THE CATHOLIC VIEW OF MARRIAGE?

Heaven.

Marriage between male and female is a foretaste of Heaven. The complete gift of oneself and union to another. Marriage is the actual imprint of the Most Holy Trinity into our very beings. In the Trinity, God the Father gives everything He is to the Son, Jesus. Jesus receives this gift and in turn gives everything He is back to the Father and this exchange of Love is SO POWERFUL it literally is a third Person - the Holy Spirit. When God made us in His image, through the complementarity of male and female, He created this same exchange for us to mirror the Trinity and experience a taste of a one flesh union. In holy. uncontracepted, faithful matrimony, the husband is able to give himself entirely to his wife, holding nothing back - not his fertility, not his commitment, not his love, nothing. In turn, the wife receives that gift in the marital embrace and in turn gives herself entirely to him, holding nothing back -- not her fertility, her commitment, her love, nothing. This exchange of love is so powerful that it can create a third person - a baby - but is nonetheless fruitful through the constant act required of marriage which is self-giving love.

NO other union is capable of this exchange in mirroring the Trinity.

A baby conceived out of wedlock, though a blessing and unique, unrepeatable life, was conceived without total commitment of matrimony.  A contracepted marital act says, "I give myself to you, but (for whatever reason) I am not open to creating with you, and so I will hold back my fertility." And a gay/lesbian sexual act is missing the complementarity of the exchange, cannot co-create, and cannot give entirely of him/herself in the one flesh union. The man gives the woman what she does not have, and vice versa. In gay and lesbian unions, a man has already what his male lover can give, and a woman has already what her female lover can give.

Now, this said....

This does not mean there is no love in those unions.

This does NOT mean that gay and lesbian love is illegitimate and in fact the Church says it is very possible that a holy love may exist between gay and lesbian partners.  The challenge that society will not accept is that the Church says that love must be chaste love... In the same way it calls non-married heterosexual couples to have chaste love. In the same way married people must have chaste love. In the same way priests and those called to religious life are called to have chaste love.

What does that mean? It means people who have same sex attractions are called to live chastity, to live out purity. It is not a different call from the rest of us, but it is a call that is often misunderstood as a judgment or punishment. Same sex attraction is not synonymous with living in exile or loneliness in the eyes of the Church. It is synonymous, though, with being unable to fulfill the male/female requirements of matrimony. Did you know there are holy Catholic men and women who have same sex attraction and are living a chaste lifestyle with deep, loving, holy friendships/relationships? Society tells us that if we are not having sex, we must be miserable. 

But love doesn't equal sex.

Sex is an expression of love, but certainly not the only one. The six plus weeks after a woman has a baby, she is unable to have sex. Does her husband therefore not love her?

Prior to marriage, we are called to abstain from sex. Does that take away our love for one another?

Certainly not.

I do not have sex with everyone I love. That would be called weirdo nut job. The fact that I don't have sex with everyone I love does not lessen my love for them and with my husband, on our wedding night, sex did not increase my love for him. It is an expression of love and commitment and two becoming one flesh, inseparable and a way for us to establish a family, raise children as fruits of that union as God calls us to be fruitful and multiply!

Indeed Christ tells us the highest form of love is to lay down your life for a friend.

We are ALL called to love.

2. So, Love Wins, but What is Love?

What is love?

Ask people to define love and no matter the age of the person, the answer is often very much akin to what you would expect to hear from a five year old! "Love is a feeling", "Love is wanting to be with someone so much that you would do anything", "Love is romance", "Love is something that makes you feel all happy inside."

We get an awesome definition of love in Corinthians... love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy... it is not boastful or rude or conceited, love never fails, God is love.

What is love? God is love.

If love is simply a feeling, it is no better than anger or depression or hunger or thirst. It is fleeting and temperamental. It is convenient and it requires no commitment or effort. If love is sex, then it will also be gone as soon as the sex is no longer available. Love is the sacrificial gift of oneself. Putting the other above yourself, laying down one's life for the sake of another. Love is "my Body given up for you." -- A Scripture I can certainly relate to as I near the birth of my fourth child and experience in a tangible way my body given up for this little one out of my sincere love for this new life.

Love isn't narrow minded either. Love welcomes others into itself. 

So when people say "love wins" and then spit on priests walking by, or name call, or judge others, it isn't really love winning, is it? And when people say God loves us and refuse to recognize the dignity of our fellow man and the crosses, including but not limited to that of same sex attraction, that person carries, it isn't really love is it? God withholds Himself from no one. God IS love, and God's love led Him not to roses and warm fuzzies or even rainbows. It led Him to the cross. It led Him to literally pour Himself out completely.

He gave you His dignity, being mocked and spat upon.

He gave you His humility, being crowned with thorns.

He gave you His purity, being stripped naked for all to see.

He gave you His body, blood and water poured forth from His side, but then also in the Eucharist, to continue a one-flesh union with us as we prepare for the union with Him in Heaven.

He gave you His Mother, at the foot of the cross.

And after all of this, He gave you His mercy.

That is love. Love won, not at the Supreme Court, and love winning is more than a cheesy trending hashtag and rainbow filters. Love won when after all we did to Him, He not only rose again, but invites us into His Heavenly Kingdom.

If I were the Lord, I would have smote us by now. It is probably a good thing none of us are the Lord.


3. Love Isn't...

I find it hilariously depressing that in the all-accepting, free-thinking, "educated", tolerant, loving society that we have, that if you speak a counter-cultural opinion, you may guarantee the following actions to be taken against you:

1) You will lose your job.
2) You may be sued.
3) You will be publicly shamed.
4) You will be called a number of things ending in the word "phobe" or "-ist" or "bigot."
5) You will be blacklisted.
6) You will undergo financial ruin.
7) You will be forced monetarily, publicity-wise, and by the all-powerful government to comply with the current cultural opinion.

Isn't this horrific to a free-thinker? If someone has an old view, that the earth revolves around the sun, does it necessarily make it wrong? Are progressive ideas the only ideas that are true? Acceptance of homosexuality is older than non-acceptance, actually, in civilization. Learn the history before saying it is a good thing we are progressing from *antiquated ideas* because it is false that widespread promotion and acceptance of same sex unions is new. There is nothing new under the sun. (Ever hear of Sodom and Gomorrah?)

Other so-called progressive ideas that are actually nothing new... Ancient cultures accepted child sacrifice (currently known as abortion), Pedophilia (Greek pedophiles actually get disability pay from the government since 2012 now), concubines (now open marriage or pornography or any number of things can go here), abuse/enslavement of women (now the culturally accepted by both men and women BDSM, pornography, etc). Our traditional Christian ideas may go back a ways, but Christian ideas led a majority to end many things like slavery, create hospitals, create opportunity for education for all, and so on and so forth. Please, don't get your history from blogs and memes. Even mine... Go do some non-Wikipedia research!

Progressivism is really not the same as liberalism. Liberalism really does make use of science and logic to negotiate a stance. I find it so much easier to dialogue with someone who declares themselves conservative or liberal than a progressive. Progressivism is 100% based on feelings. That is why you cannot call a progressive out on a hypocritical stance, because it is such an individualistic, subjective philosophy that there are no consequences and even if there are, you need to mind your own business. They can call out Christians, rightly so, for our own hypocrisy though -- why? Because we profess publicly to hold ourselves to standards communally shared and dictated by our faith. The only difference between our hypocrisy is that in Christianity you find and expect repentance and we know in our sin and imperfection we need a Savior. 

Here are a few cracks in the armor of current progressive thought:

1) You are born with your sexual attractions, however, your gender is a social construct. So it is possible that your sexual attractions could change with your socially constructed gender.
2) You need to stay out of people's business and let them love who they want, but you must be complicit in all of our ceremonies celebrating these relationships or you are a bigot and we hate you and will destroy you.
3) Marriage is an awesome standard for gay and lesbians couples to have to show their commitment to one another, but hetereosexual, cohabitating couples don't need a piece of paper to prove they love each other and should be able to sleep with whomever they want at any time even if not a spouse.
4) It is a sob story and valid reason for abortion when a child will be raised by a single parent, due to the challenges and lack of the opposite sexed parent in the household, but children raised by two parents of the same gender will experience no negative effects in not having a mom or not having a dad.
5) You are entitled to your opinion as long as it is not religiously based and does not remotely suggest a potential or possible consequence of anyone else's actions.
6) This was an actual court case... A cake baker does not have to serve someone who wants to write messages against homosexuality on a cake, but they DO have to serve someone who wants a wedding cake for their gay marriage.
7) You may love any of us, but if you suggest an alternative solution to our problems other than the one we are currently promoting, you are a bigot and we hate you and will destroy you. (IE suggesting that perhaps a transgender who has conflict between brain and body should try to change their brain before submitting themselves to physical, financial, emotional, social risks when changing the body.)
8) Let your child decide his or her gender and stay out of the public schools way in teaching your child about his or her own sexuality. But leave same sex parents alone so they can raise their children with their own values.


I could go on, and this is really the only part of this blog that I get emotional/upset thinking about it.

Sometimes when I listen to techno music, I literally want to bash my head into a wall, and the same goes here as I try to negotiate logic where there literally is no logic. I am usually able to have fantastic conversations and debates with people from all walks of life, but I cannot wrap my mind around a feelings based pursuit of knowledge and lifestyle and a feelings based approach to discussing things like social issues. I like to balance my actions with the reactions. Sin and consequence. Love and truth. It is hardest to swim upstream, against the cultural flow, but if I cannot grasp logically and historically an idea...it makes me wonder if it really is the best thing. Intellectual discussion and pursuit used to be valued and I think we will get back to that, but probably not for awhile.


4. Persecution of Christians

It is hilarious that people are laughing when we bring this up. Did you know what the most persecuted group of people in the world is and has been? CHRISTIANS and JEWS! That is right! We foresee this coming because we have never stopped experiencing it. From Ireland, to Mexico, to North Korea, to China, to currently the Middle East, to here in the United States where a Muslim can wear their burkas but we cannot hang a crucifix in our office. Persecution is not something we pulled out of our you know whats, it is something our brothers and sisters experience daily. Now the latest talk is we are threatened to lose tax exemptions if we do not perform gay marriages. Do you know why we are tax exempt? And I will only speak for the Catholics here, not mega Churches and coffee house churches and other religions because I have no idea of how they use their money. But Catholics send the money they receive on Sundays to Catholic Charities who help immigrants and homeless and battered women and children, to missionaries overseas who are providing food and education and healthcare to third world villages and communities, to soup kitchens here, to Vincent dePaul which actively ministers to the needs of the poor and helps them to find jobs, and so on and so on and so on. Sure the government could take all of that over, but do you want them to? Look at the dysfunction of the welfare system. The government cares about getting homeless off the streets because it is an embarrassment. Christians and people who actually love people care about the homeless because THEY CARE ABOUT THE HOMELESS!! The last thing government needs is more power, but when we turn away from God, our inclination to seek a higher power turns to government. And government becomes our god. 

There is hatred on all sides of the debate regarding gay marriage, but you know what is going to happen to Christians? We won't be slaughtered here like we are slaughtered in the Middle East - actually gay and lesbians join us in being slaughtered in the Middle East (See what hatred does?) But we will be killed more civilly. Bullied by well-funded advocates of *tolerance* to participate in ceremonies that violate our beliefs. Fined and sued until financial ruin. Job loss and suffering of our families. Coercion, manipulation, incarceration, censorship. In first world countries, we persecute people much more civilly but as ultimately deadly as third world beheadings. This isn't a prophecy, or prediction or whiney exaggeration. This stuff has already happened and is already happening.

IF WE SEEK TO COEXIST THIS HAS TO STOP.

I would never sue you because you did not want to host my prayer service. I would take my freedom and my money somewhere else. I would never sue you and rat you out to the media because you called me a bigot, homophobe, racist, sexist, etc, etc, etc. I would never do that. Do you know why? Because while I may not agree, I respect you and your right to have your beliefs and your right to decline services based on those beliefs. 

I would never shove my beliefs down the throats of your children in what is intended to be a neutral academic environment.

I just expect the same respect. But unfortunately, being politically correct has become the god of society. They will worship at its altar no matter the cost or casualties.

In that same vein, I know that I, as a Christian, have to deserve that respect by treating those who believe differently from me with love. I strive to see Christ in everyone. I strive to love more deeply.

You are not defined by your sexuality, your sin, etc. You are defined by the simple fact that you are created by Love Himself and you are His child, and He makes no mistakes. 

So, would I come to your gay wedding? Yes, I would. (See, this blog gets on everyone's nerves now!) Because I love you and I would pray for you, though I would not waiver from my belief that marriage is defined by man and woman united as one flesh under God. In the same way I would attend a non-Catholic wedding, believing that marriage is a Sacrament and more than a piece of paper handed to us by a justice of the peace.. I would come. And I would love and I would pray for you.

Would I be an active part of the ceremony? Probably not. I wouldn't do justice in participating as someone who believes this is a union, not under the definition of marriage. I would support you and be there for you throughout the relationship however, just as I would any of my friends or family and as I would expect the same.

5. State and Marriage

If the state chooses to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, I think that is a matter of public policy and is a result of who we vote for. I understand that not everyone believes the same as I do, and conversion is never brought about by forcing our views upon another (see above). However, in the same breath, the state should not force, coerce, or manipulate parties into participating in that contract. No one ever forbid someone from loving another person of the same sex, we simply believe, as have generations before us for hundreds of years, that the unique bond of marriage belongs to man and woman for procreative reasons, for raising children, and as the foundation of any society. The Supreme Court, though, did not take away from the sanctity of marriage in this recent decision. The sanctity of marriage has been at risk for a very long time and that was the result of heterosexual actions! Our 50 percent divorce rate, contraceptive mentality, etc. When you take out being faithful and fruitful from marriage, any kind of union should be acceptable. Do not think that anyone will draw the line at same-sex unions, even same-sex advocates are uncertain on this one...

One thing that most people don't know.... People are denied marriage all the time!! For a host of reasons!! They may have a previous marriage. They may have lied about their age. They may not be emancipated. They may have serious addictions or a history of abusing their partner. They may not have fulfilled the legal and religious requirements to get married. They may not be able to prove their citizenship. In the Church, marriage is discerned at length and couples spend 4 months to a year or more taking classes learning about the Sacramental nature of marriage,

Consequently..... Marriage is NOT A HUMAN RIGHT. If it were a human right, anyone could get married to anyone at any time for any reason anywhere and there would be charities providing marriages to people in the street.

Marriage, like love, is a decision. It has the sacred purpose of uniting two into one flesh, no longer are they two, but one. And it is to be total, fruitful, free, and faithful. It is more than a government contract, it is a union between God and man. And not everyone has the right to it. Just as you don't have the right to friendship -- otherwise no one could deny being friends with you (or block you on social media and post nasty comments on your stuff). You don't have the right to express your anger in unhealthy ways. You don't have the right to drugs. You don't have the right to marriage because marriage is not a right. Marriage is a promise, a choice, a commitment, and the foundational piece of the family, the mini-society.

If the state wants to issue marriage certificates to same-sex couples, that is something we have little power over, however, they better be prepared to hand over marriage certificates to that man who wants to marry his dog. The man who wants seven wives. The women who want three more wives. IF the logic is consistent here, in the progressive mind, marriage as a human right is therefore unlimited.

Fulton Sheen says the first time man discovered he could have no limits was when we dropped the bomb on Hiroshima.

So, there is that...

6. The Gay Marriage Movement Has Aided Christians in Many Ways

I have been blessed to know people who struggle with same sex attraction who are willing to share their stories. Who are willing to enter in to a civil dialogue in order that we may better understand one another and our belief systems. I don't know that I would have had this opportunity in the same way were it not for those efforts of those who came out of the closet to share their struggle to be loved and find love. Because this community of people who have same sex attraction is such a minority in numbers, they have often been overlooked or misunderstood, particularly in our faith communities.

I do think, however, that it is awesome that the Catholic Church has had her stance on same sex attraction for years. YEARS. Not recent days. That the Church, while recognizing that the homosexual act itself is incapable of being procreative and thus not a union according to the laws of nature for survival of the species, co-creating life with God, etc, that those with same sex attraction are just as loved as anyone else and should be welcomed into the Church. They are fearfully and wonderfully made. God has a purpose for them and those attractions are not sinful, just the sexual act.

It is not a sin to have same sex attraction.  The Church offers a deep love and union with Christ through ministries like Courage, who support those with same sex attraction who choose to live chastely.

I think the gay marriage debate has also caused us to reflect on our own marriages. Gay marriage has not destroyed traditional marriage. We have done a pretty good job of that ourselves, through contraception - sterilizing the act of marriage, infidelity, pornography addiction, no-fault divorce, cohabitation, etc. Humanae Vitae was quite the prophetic document. Read it sometime! Every single one of those prophesies has come true. The Church doesn't seek to be popular (clearly). The Church seeks to lead people to Heaven. The Church exists to provide us with the physical reality of God in the way the world cannot.

The Church never says you cannot love who you wish to love. In fact, you are supposed to love everyone to the point of laying your own life down for them. You are supposed to love your enemies and those who hate you, because even pagans and hypocrites can love their friends. The call is to love in chastity particular to your state of life. In our oversexed world, it seems impossible to be gay and live without the act of sex. It seems impossible to be single and not at least hook up. It seems impossible to stay married and faithful to the same person until death do you part. It seems impossible to stay away from pornography and porn addiction. It seems impossible to date and not have sex before marriage. However unpopular the position may be, it is our call, and all things are possible with God. This higher call brings a higher level of love and happiness and intimacy than the world that invites us to indulge our every whim.

There are a lot of angry and bitter people walking around who have tried the love without truth approach. There are a lot of angry and bitter people walking around who have tried the truth without love approach. The two go hand in hand and cannot be separated. In Scripture Jesus was the toughest on those who should know better -- the religious leaders -- but were leading people away from Him in the rules and no love approach. The people who really became followers of Christ all the way to the foot of the cross and the seed of the Catholic Church, were sinners who encountered the love of Christ and conformed to His truth.

In conclusion to my fellow Christians...

When I first heard of Rachel Dolezal, I could almost understand why she pretended to be black when she is actually white. Why? Because being white is seen as privileged or you must be racist and is generally very individualistic. As a person who is half white and half Mexican, I prefer the Mexican in me, because the Mexican community is fantastic! There is culture and food and tradition and instant fellowship, and identity, and a sense of belonging. There really isn't much of that in the caucasian/anglo community unless you like sports. But many young people seeking this sense of community and belonging have found it in various social justice movements from Vietnam to Gay Marriage. I have seen so many people, get caught up in the rainbow profile pics who then ask questions about what the ramifications of this decision could be, and want to see lines drawn around marriage so it cannot be a slippery slope including other combinations of unions.

But they don't want to seem unloving by offering an alternative thought or opinion or by NOT changing their profile pic.

Here is the thing...

No one is going to agree with you all of the time no matter what you do or do not stand for.

In the end, who are you trying to please? I am older now and care less about what people think. I guess being a mom does that to you. You do all kinds of embarrassing things as a mom. Like today... I walked through the library shouting my two year old's name because he disappeared. Didn't care what people thought of me.

What I do care about is that even if I am vehemently disagreeing with someone, do they still know and experience that I care about them? 

This is how you show love. Not with hashtags and filters and t-shirts and flags or blogs or statuses or instagrams. You love by your life. Then people who know you don't approve of their choices know that you still love them. And vice versa. Those who disagree with you find you easier to love, because

you have been authentic. 


That is really about it. Live the faith you believe or if you need to discern, ask questions, pray and study.  There is nothing more undesirable to the Lord than luke-warmness. He would prefer you hate Him than to pretend to love Him and refuse to follow Him.

Course, He would rather you love Him and follow Him and trust that He knows you inside and out, knows the desires of your heart, and loves you. YOU. SO. VERY. MUCH.




Prayers and blessings to you all, friends. Fight the good fight and love with all your might.

My Only Duggar Post Ever.

I do not really follow the Duggars. I have seen a few episodes, but having grown up for a period of time in the long skirt wearing, ultra conservative homeschool community, I am familiar enough with the mentalities prevalent in some of these groups that it simultaneously can make me smile and make me cringe. My experience was not nearly so repressive and strict as the communities that the Duggars and others may belong to, but I think it is important to share a few brief points. And just a slight edit - long skirts are great - I merely use the phrase as a generic reference to something commonly associated with these communities. I still have long skirts. ;)

1) At 14, a young person who has not been exposed to computer programs, television, or much of the outside world is MUCH more innocent than the typical 14 year old these days who has had exposure to these things for many years. The Duggars rarely watched tv or used the computer without hefty supervision.

2) In many of these groups sex is seen as beautiful until someone has it outside of marriage, then that person can be (I don't know that this was the case here) judged and shunned and made to feel dirty and ashamed. I am a firm believer that sex is to be reserved for the person you are married to, which is a whole other post, but there can be a lot of guilt and shame associated with sex, rather than the anticipated wait of the hope to be and receive total gift to/of someone else. That two flesh become one, that representation of triune God, that Total, Fruitful, Faithful, Free gift that cannot be reproduced outside of marriage. It is a different perspective from some mega conservatives and from liberal society that Pope John Paul II elaborated on in Theology of the Body -- that our bodies are neither bad nor good, they are holy! They are sacred. Society rejects this leaving us to deal with the consequences of our actions, but also through guilt and shame, religious groups can reject it also.

3) Sex isn't often talked about. We don't need the manuals being passed out in public schools with the variety of activities one could engage in, but we do need an open dialogue guided by the theology of sex, that God made it good. God made you good. And the consequences of abusing it and our own sexuality are very real. We were made for love!

4) Just because someone is famous or celebrity does not entitle one to every skeleton in the closet.


A few things have very much bothered me about the coverage and the response of even well-intentioned people to this latest Duggar burning at the stake scenario.

It is very clear and apparent to me that there is a sick rejoicing when a follower of Christ falls. It is the same sick rejoicing we have when a female celebrity puts on a few pounds. Or a talented athlete fails in marriage or sport. It is a sickness in our own hearts that we must recognize... do you rejoice and love it and shove it in that person`s face when you finally catch a glimpse of their imperfection? Or do you acknowledge your own failings in the process of coming to grips with those of someone else?

There is also a *pick and choose* mentality of what information we will spread and believe to firm up what we believe to be true. I have heard every extreme -- from people saying Josh Duggar is a rapist to his parents covered everything up to he did nothing wrong. None of which, based on actual evidence, holds up to be true. Nothing will excuse his behavior, but nothing will excuse ours either for publicly crucifying a family who worked hard to report, heal, make amends, and rehabilitate. We should be happy that at least so far, it does seem that Josh was a curious 14 year old who crossed the line, expressed remorse, admitted his mistake, and was willing to pay the consequences. And that the family stayed vigilant. But we cannot let it go.... because it is much more fun in that darkness of our hearts to play it up and drag him out to be stoned in the coliseum of public opinion -- not just him, but the girls involved as well.

A brief glance through our own family history should reveal to us a few things...

1) No one is perfect and EVERY family has a secret or two that they would prefer not see the public eye. It doesn't mean anyone is covering up their past or the mistake of a relative, but it does mean that not everyone is entitled to that information. I remember the scandal where a photographer captured a sunbathing, topless Kate Middleton. I thought to myself, How DARE you?!! How DARE you take and pass around that picture. Just because you have that information does not give you the right to share it. People justified it saying... Well, she should not have been sunbathing topless and she should know that she is a celebrity now ---  Not considering the photographer violated her privacy. Whoever leaked this Duggar report to the press did not care about the welfare of the Duggar family... they were looking for money, fame, and to cause scandal. Where is your dignity people... where is your love and self respect?

2) A good parent is incapable of loving a child any less than another. When Josh told his parents what he had done, can you imagine the pain they felt? The pain they felt at having to send him away for a time? The pain at having their children interviewed by police? The pain they felt wondering if their other children would be okay and if Josh would be able to turn things around? It is like people expect that the parents should have sent him off to prison right away. They told the police. They looked at rehabilitation programs which were reported to not be very effective and ultimately decided on a counselor and removal from the house situation. I know in my experience in youth ministry that many programs are NOT very effective. Being around other, influential, and worse offenders is not necessarily the best environment for rehabilitation, particularly when one is trying hard to keep God at the center of that healing process. I truly believe based on the Duggar account, police report, etc, that they did what they thought they needed to do for all of their children. You don't kill the child that is bleeding, you work to help heal that child if you can, and then bring in professionals who can help if you are incapable and the bleeding continues.

3) As far as we know, and this could change, and Josh could change, there is no reason to believe that he hasn't been rehabilitated. He was honest with his wife, before they married. He made amends to those he hurt. What more do you want from this family? If it is indeed true that he has been rehabilitated and not offended again, could we rejoice with them? Because I know many juveniles who do not get rehabilitated who turn into molesters and rapists and pedophiles as adults. Or is it because a family failure has been discovered, we will attack and destroy?  I saw someone raging, literally raging, on the news about Josh preaching that men who identify as women should not use the restroom for women because it could be a danger to women/girls and how he was such a hypocrite. Do you not understand that sometimes our own experiences shape how we form beliefs and opinions? That maybe in his own failures he realized that women do need to be protected from a man who would seek to take advantage of them or even hurt them and violate their space?

Someone else told me that I would feel differently if anything like this ever happened to anyone I know or in my family.

I told them it is dangerous and ignorant to assume that it hasn't.

I think this situation doesn't call us to choose a side -- Duggar or not Duggar. This situation calls us to be human. Which I sure believe we have lost the ability to see the dignity of another these days. The name calling... just add *phobe* to any word and you are then marked with a scarlet letter by which a defense of perspective is pointless. Absolute hate... its smell is so vile particularly on social media that sometimes I just want to run away and live in the woods somewhere.

We should be greatly afraid of our own hatred and darkness in our hearts. If we cannot help but laugh when another falls down, this is not their flaw - it is ours. If we can't wait to report the latest news of someone in pain simply for the lust of information and desire to ride that high and mighty horse, that is our own flaw. And we will soon fall down. And we will cry out to someone for help, but no one will help, they will walk over us and publish our shame for all to see, just as we did.

Please be on guard that you reject the notion that any one of us is perfect and that if we are trying to be holy it is indeed that we are trying. We don't need a Savior because we are perfect. Catholics even go to Confession to admit all of our shortcomings to the Lord in the humility of the Sacrament of Reconciliation! We need a Savior because we need saving.

Jesus fell three times and His journey still led Him to the cross. The Christians I know don't claim to be perfect and many, including myself, publicly share their own struggles to follow Him. Ultimately we know that this means taking up our cross, enduring the mocking, and the dying with Christ. But we trust and we pray because the cross was not the end.

I pray that whether Christian or far from it, we can work on the hardness of our hearts and instead of blasting the secrets and pain of another through social media -- whether friend, foe, celebrity, politician etc,  we could extend a loving and healing hand.

God bless you guys and you are always in my prayers.