My Daughter is Beautiful

Tell her she's beautiful every day. 

Don't tell her she's beautiful. 

Be honest with her. 

Compliment her mind, not her body. 

Don't talk about her body at all. 

Tell her she looks good even if she doesn't. 

AH!!  PLEASE!! SOMEONE STOP THE MADNESS!!!! 

First off, I have always struggled with my self-image. This is me, self-proclaimed original "Ugly Betty"... I think I was maybe around fourteen years old. 

I had bad acne, was overweight (I weighed as much as a teenager as I did pregnant with my third child...), braces, headgear, etc. The complete antithesis of cultural, feminine beauty. 

I wasn't pretty. No one told me I was pretty, but no one said I was ugly either, aside from one nasty kid at a pool a few years prior to this picture being taken. 

My mom told me that God doesn't make junk. That stuck with me.

Other than that no one made a big deal about how I looked, one way or the other. 

Consequently, my own self-talk, in my mind, was validated. 

"I'm ugly."

Fast forward. 

This is my daughter after a Father/Daughter dance. 

She is beautiful. 

I will always tell her that she is beautiful. 

I know the trend right now is to not talk to your daughter at all about her physical appearance, but rather to compliment her mind and heart and soul. 

I get that. 

But she wants to know she is beautiful. It is innate in her. Even when she was really little, she would ask me to put a dress on her, or she would grab one of my dresses and say, "Am I pwetty, mama?" 

"Yes, honey. You are beautiful." 

When I tell her she is beautiful, I want her to know that I say that from a place of deep love for her. When she hears someone else say she is beautiful, she will be able to recognize the difference between someone who says it out of love, and someone who says it without love - someone who wants to use her. 

She will know that she is beautiful, not sexy. 

She will know that she is beautiful because she is fearfully and wonderfully made, knit in her mother's womb, beloved, His beautiful one. (All Scripture references)

Of course, she is not limited by physical beauty. We affirm her for being kind, compassionate, brave, intelligent, prayerful, and helpful. But all of those things make her beautiful. 

To only affirm her heart, mind, and soul while rejecting her body as unimportant to who she is is really the opposite of anything holy - if the body were bad and not worth a second thought, it wouldn't have been redeemed on the cross. If the body were bad, it wouldn't be resurrected on the last day. 

I believe I should instead, teach her to love herself as a whole person. Society places so much emphasis on sex appeal, not beauty. We have to be careful when we are fighting one, to not fight the other. When she starts to change or gains a few pounds, or needs braces, etc, I want her to know she is beautiful because she is a child of God and His love for her makes her beautiful and that is unchanging beauty. 

I hope to teach her that her most attractive quality is her soul, and that holiness is the most beautiful thing in the world. 

I want to teach her that the more she is full of love, the more beautiful she is. 

They will see her beauty. Not just physical beauty, but the love of Christ radiating through her, spilling over to everyone around her. 

So, I say without reservation....

My daughter is beautiful. 

Money and Ministry

As some of you may know, my husband, David, and I recently launched our very first GoFundMe campaign to fund our first CD together. This is a giant leap of faith for us in following the Lord in this ministry as we have had so many challenges this past year that have tempted us to question whether music ministry is right for us. I know that may sound crazy, but traveling/speaking ministry is not always easy and those who do it full-time make so many sacrifices.

This past year we were audited. Our ministry took a huge hit. The events that we did for charity, where we made no money - zip, zilch, none - were removed from our deductions and labeled as "vacation". Yes... that was vacation that time that I was seven months pregnant, driving through the night with my six month old to get to Joplin, Missouri for a fundraiser for storm victims. (sarcasm!)

This past year, prior to the audit but regardless of it, we also felt called to do two things monetarily:

1) To surrender our finances to the Lord. Whatever we made, we made. Wherever we were called, we went. Sometimes we didn't make much - I remember one gig, the collection came to $15. (It was Junior High kids, so actually, that was pretty generous!) Sometimes we made more which helps with our three beautiful children who were once all in diapers :P . But we decided we didn't want money getting in the way of where the Lord may be calling us. We decided we couldn't put a price on the Gospel - that price has been paid. We needed to pay our bills, but surrender to the providence of God through generous hearts and use the talents God has given us to spread His Word and witness to His love. There really is freedom in not worrying about what to charge for speaking/music, but it requires much trust and we are constantly reminded that the Lord will use us as He chooses -- "You did not choose Me. I chose you."

2) We consecrated our finances to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. God must have known we would need some extra protection!!

Right before I walked into my audit appointment, I prayed a Rosary. I clearly heard the words, "Will you still follow Me and do My work even in the midst of attack?"

I responded with a resounding,

"Maybe."

Haha, then I prayed for the courage to say yes. I heard the question again, and I was able, by the grace of God, to say yes.

It has been one of the most difficult "Yes"'s in my life. Late nights, tons of paperwork, agonizing over making sure I had all my ducks in a row for weeks.

But the Lord sent people into our lives to help.

And...

get this....

Our tax refund from 2013 covers, almost to the dime, the big fat bill the IRS sent us after disallowing our charity events.

God is good.

I just wish He'd send me a winning lottery ticket so I'd have the money in advance next time. ;)

Now, we are praying and trusting again in His providence to fund this CD. We technically need a bit more than our goal, but God is not a God of minimums. He is a God of abundance. Not always in the way we expect, and not without a cross, but He always promises Resurrection.

I share this with you as we pray for our campaign and see where God leads us in this ministry. I share this because I know so many who have undergone financial hardships and struggle to find hope, but who are making sacrifices and getting by day to day on faith and the generosity of God and others. I remember when David was laid off due to a parish merge/leadership change and we were looking for a new job, seven months pregnant. God had called me to quit my job with benefits to work part time. I remember people asking me, "Are you crazy?? David doesn't have a job yet!" I said, "Well, I have peace about this decision! God will provide!" (In the back of my mind saying, "Uh, Yeah God, Please provide, I'm counting on You!")  Then shortly after that, He called us to give a substantial donation towards a group going to World Youth Day Germany. David and I went to Adoration, and we came up with the same amount. "Are we crazy??" we thought.

Yeah, probably.

But we were inspired by the words of Ven. Fr. Solanus Casey, to pray for what we need, thank God in advance for answering our prayer, give generously, and go about our day, trusting in God's providence.

So that's what we will do.

Thank you, and thank you for praying for us. We need the prayers so much!

If you would like to donate, please see the link here for all the details: http://www.gofundme.com/9mm60s?preview=1

If you would like to commit to praying for this project, please message me on Facebook or comment below.

God bless!!