And We Remember How He Loved Us

Palm Sunday & Holy Week....

I love this solemn week. 

Some people would say it is depressing, but I am filled with such awe and reverence as we walk, this week, with our Lord as He journeys to the cross for us.  In such a concrete way, we are taken back 2000 years ago and walk with our Lord His journey to the cross. We read the vivid descriptions in the readings, reenact the waving of the palms and foot washing, kiss the cross on which our Savior died. 

The sights, the smells, the touch, the taste, the sounds of the Passion of the Lord. 

And yet, it's not a history lesson.Holy Week is the perfect summation of our Spiritual lives. In seven days, the Gospels capture for us an entire lifetime worth of faith. 

Palm Sunday (the Conversion!) 

This weekend we have a party for Jesus…initially! In Jesus’ time, as He entered into the temple all were hailing Him and worshipping Him, laying palm branches at His feet and giving Him treatment worthy of a King. 

I can’t help but apply this to my own life, when I have one of those “God moments” – a retreat experience or an experience of Christ so undeniable that I am excited to pray and worship Him and “do anything” for Him! It's that spiritual high that makes you want to rejoice from the rooftops, "MY God! I love you! My God, I worship You!" Or... "I'm in love! I'm in love! And I don't care who knows it!" 

How quickly we get to see if our faith is deeply rooted or if the words of Christ fell on to rocky soil. 

Holy Thursday (The test) Those who were so excited to be with Jesus and give Him royal treatment surround Him as He gives His flesh and blood in the Eucharist and one by one, they are tested in their faith. 

One betrays. 

One denies knowing Jesus. 

They all fall asleep when He asks them to pray. 

In my life where I have I betrayed (sinned)?

Where have I denied knowing Jesus (not stood up for what I know to be right)?

Where have I fallen asleep (not made faith in mine and my children’s lives a priority)? 


Good Friday (Repentance)  Upon realizing what they’ve done, the Apostles each react so differently. 

One stands with Jesus all the way to the foot of the cross. He perseveres. John.

One repents and weeps bitterly. Peter.

One despairs and takes his life. Judas.

Our Lord proves His love for us in dying for us – each and every one of us. 

How do I react to my sin and betrayal of the Lord? Do I despair and walk away from Him altogether? Do I repent and feel sorry for myself? Or do I repent and persevere in my faith, even as it takes me to the foot of the cross?

I’ll be honest… over my life it has been a mixture of all three! But at the cross, Jesus looks to John, His beloved disciple, and entrusts to him His own Mother. Jesus builds His Church on Peter, the repentant denier. The only one who went without was the one who did not return, Judas. 

God takes all of our weakness of faith, our love of Him, and our sincerity of repentance, and He uses us in spite of those things to build His Kingdom. He redeems us!

Easter Sunday (I am Made New Again!) Jesus’ glorious, triumphant Resurrection shows us that He is Lord of all and not even death can hold Him back. He shows us defeat of sin and redeems the world unto Himself. He shows us sin has no power, and He reunites us to Himself once again! Once again, we are healed. And we walk with Him into next year, living the Triduum every day. 

May we stay with Him this time, persevere and rely on Him during the tests of our faith, so that we can walk to the foot of the cross and rise with Him. 

Let us being Holy Week not as a history lesson or brand new Easter dress, but as participants in this most Holy Mystery of our Faith. Let us walk with Him.... 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgDM9GNbRm4

I Failed at Lent

Normally, I can't stand blogs that glorify epic fails. It's practically trendy to have five mountains of laundry or a bad hair day and blog about how terrible you are at life, but I am writing this blog not to glorify my failure, rather to show you what I've learned from it. 

I spent a LOT of time thinking and praying about what to give up for Lent. I was already on a healthy eating crusade, so giving up some type of food just seemed more like a diet versus a sacrifice. I know that any food sacrifice would have tempted me immediately to vanity and scale watching. Plus, the whole first week of Lent, I didn't eat anyway, because I had a stomach bug!

I don't watch television, so that was out. I tried to limit my phone time, but then the kids all got perpetually sick and we've had various situations that required my immediate, lengthy, and time-consuming dwelling in the virtual world. Aside from the business and dramatic end of being connected to my phone like it was an added appendage, I just needed an outlet! No good comes from having a news app, by the way. Don't do it.

I tried to add more prayer and have been mostly successful, but was so, so discouraged by missing Masses due to sick kids who always seem to get sick on Saturday nights and into Sunday mornings. Due to David's work schedule, trying to take turns going to one Mass while the other stayed home with the kids was extremely difficult and sometimes impossible. Oh, and sometimes one of us was sick, too! 

I've been asking the Lord, "WHAT, What do You want from me? I just can't hear You and I'm sorry that I can't seem to get Lent right this year." 

I've been feeling like an epic Lenten failure. Disconnected from Mass, seeing other people graciously abstain from sweets and soda or even some who are doing service work.  They seem so connected to their spiritual growth and Lenten sacrifice, and it kinda makes me feel like I fail at Lent. 

Here I am, in the middle of Lent, still asking... Lord, what can I do for Lent, to help me grow in holiness? 

Monday night, I went to Confession.  It's been a really rough few weeks for a number of reasons, but the least I could do is repent and get rid of my sins and ways I've acted uncharitably during these weeks. After I had finished confessing my sins -- (My husband said, "You sure were in there a long time!" haha) -- the Bishop (yep, Bishop) said to me that he knows a mother who, when things get crazy, just makes the Sign of the Cross right then and there. I thought to myself, Ok, that's nice, I can do that, just to refocus and center myself on Christ. And I walked away... 

As I came home, however, frustrated that the events of the past few weeks have left me with a mountain of laundry and entire house to clean, I reflected on what the Bishop said. Make the Sign of the Cross. The Cross. 

The Cross. 

All of a sudden it dawned on me. Lent is about taking up your cross. When I used to think of carrying my cross in the context of Lent, I thought it was the cross I chose for myself, like giving up caffeine (actually that's more like forcing everyone around me to take up their crosses in dealing with me, ha). I thought the cross was my choosing and my doing.

But it's not. The cross is a cross chosen for me. I can choose to take it up or be a giant whiney pants about it. But the cross that is chosen for me is the cross that will get me to Heaven. It is the cross that will enable me to grow in the virtues I lack and strengthen the virtues I've been given by grace. This cross is the cross uniquely picked for me that will set an example to others around me in similar circumstances who are on the fence about taking up their own cross and on the fence about following Jesus. 

The Lord is telling me, through the suffering I am dealing with and have dealt with the past few weeks, to carry the cross HE has allowed me to endure. He is asking me to suffer a little more graciously and to offer it up. The cross I've been carrying has weighed me down and practically smothered me, because I've been telling the Lord that I need a different cross and that I don't need Him. I haven't relied on Him completely. I've relied on me completely and I know I fell more than three times.

Jesus needed help carrying His cross. Why should I think I'm stronger than the King of the Universe? (Even though I've been doing a LOT of strength training....)

I need to relax. I don't have to wear a burlap sack to make this a fruitful Lent. I need to bear my sufferings with holy patience and love. I need to quit worrying about my Lenten activities and start practicing daily holiness not just in the times when it's easy to feel God's love.

That's my call this Lent.

The Lord has shown me He works in our desire for holiness, but He also works in our shortcomings.

It's funny that I had this revelation the week after the Gospel reading about Jesus healing the blind man. Sometimes we can't see that we are blind.

Open my eyes, Lord. Amen!