I Don't Have to Be Good at That

Sorry for the delay in posting. It's been a busy advent!

Many of you already know that we are expecting our fourth child. The first trimester is really hard for me - I will basically explode in weight gain, feel nauseous 24/7, and have the energy of whatever the opposite of the energizer bunny is. So, just to keep up with regular every day stuff has been a challenge.

I haven't even worked out at all. I had an issue with my foot, then morning sickness hit, and I just can't over-exert myself or I am not a happy camper for the rest of the day. This has led to sort of a depression. I realize it is temporary and I'm thankful for the reason I feel this way - life! But gee whiz, I'm really, really bummed out.

I keep seeing photos on Facebook or articles or blogs on these fantastic Christmas projects, cookies, decorations, etc and I've been feeling like a failure. My gingerbread house with the kids looked like a gingerbread junk yard/shack. Lucia said it was a Christmas spiderweb. I haven't even yet found all our Christmas decorations, much less put them up. I haven't even finished Christmas shopping!

Then I remembered something...

I don't HAVE to be good at any of that stuff.

Let me say it again for my own sake...

I don't HAVE to be good at any of that stuff.

There are so many things I am not good at, that I have to do, but baking an assortment of homemade treats, carefully handcrafting personally made items for gifts, or having the Martha Stewart approved decorative home are not things that I HAVE to be good at. I'd like to be good at some of that stuff for sure, and maybe one year I will really have the energy to go all out....

But this year... this is what I HAVE to be good at...

I have to remember that Christmas "doesn't come from a store, perhaps Christmas....means a little bit more" -- That's from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" which I've been playing for my kids who also got a little too caught up in the gimmies and "commercial racket" of Christmas (Charlie Brown's Christmas) !

I am thrilled to give my kids presents on Christmas day. Even my husband - I can't wait till he sees what I got for him, because I put so much work into saving up for his gift. I'm excited about that Christmas morning. I'm not saying we shouldn't be excited for those moments or prepare for those moments doing whatever is left that needs to be done.

I just need to throw off the comparison shackles and quit thinking I fail at Christmas because others are so pro at Christmas fun!

I need to remember that Christmas isn't just about giving, it's about being generous. It's about being compassionate. It's about being humble. It's about receiving. Being open to receive... open to letting the joy and love of Christ's coming enter into my home. We sing songs about peace on earth and all that jazz, and yet I find this time of year absolutely chaotic! I need to be good at stepping back from all the things I wish I could do or would do but can't or just don't have time to do, and take a breath... and smile. And be a person that understands peace is in the stillness.

I need to follow the star in my own life, instead of chasing the traditions or activities that I feel I am "supposed" to partake in.

That night long ago... no carols... no parties... no jingle bells... just that quiet night where there shone a bright star in the sky. And all were filled with wonder and awe, rejoicing... Unto us a Child is born, A Savior, Christ the King.

Come, let us adore Him.

PS. Christmas cards will be late.

;)

You Did Not Choose Me, No I Chose You - GUEST POST JOHN ANGOTTI

This week, I invited my friend, John Angotti, whom I have known for over fifteen years, to share his adoption story. John is a Catholic recording artist, speaker, and music missionary. He uses music to share the Gospel to people of all ages, nationally and internationally. He was instrumental in my own ministry, mentoring me, and helping me to grow in my own talents and confidence. I am blessed to call him friend over the years, and so very thankful that he was willing to share his story on this blog. 

This is National Adoption Month. Many of you know I have three adopted siblings. I rarely think of them as adopted, because we grew up very close and love each other deeply and have been through a lot together. At the same time, I don't know what it is like to be adopted, nor do I realize the pain of realizing that someone didn't want, couldn't care for, or was forced to give their child up. I don't know the wonders of what could have been or what should have been. 

But an adoption is a beautiful gift and witness of our faith because it is to be chosen. To be loved as not an obligation or simply familial tie, but as a free will choice. Yes, there are crummy adoption stories (and crummy non-adoption stories), but the point is that choosing to love is at the crux of our faith and what it means to be Christian. 

"You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you, that you might go and bear fruit-- fruit that will last-- and so that whatever you ask in My Name, My Father will give you." -- John 15:16

Thank you, again, John for this message. 




ADOPTION IS THE OPTION – the story of an adopted child.

This story begins a long time ago in a small town called Lost Creek, West Virginia.  A young beautiful petite 16-year-old girl, who lived on a farm, fell for a handsome athletic 17-year boy who had lost his mother at an early age and lived basically in poverty with his father and brother.  The young girl ended up getting pregnant but tried to hide it from her father.  It would have been a disgrace to the family.  She continued to work on the farm but wear large clothes to hide her pregnancy.  She confided in her sister and some family and friends.  Then one hot day in August as she was helping on the farm, her water broke and the reality of her situation was made known to her father who was furious.  This was an embarrassment for him and the family so they rushed her off to a neighboring town to have the baby.  Nestled up on the mountain top in Phillipi, West Virginia was Alderson-Broadus Hospital where she gave birth to a baby boy.  It was a difficult delivery with a lot of blood and pain but both her and the baby survived.  A day or so later after she recovered, she silently went to the nursery, said goodbye to the life she had just brought into the world, and her life went on.  The baby didn’t have a name so the nurses named him Joseph.

Joseph was then put with an adoption agency and within a month he was placed in a family that had already had adopted two other children and even a couple years after they adopted him, they adopted another.  This family was a Catholic family of Italian decent where the mother was a musician.  As Joseph grew up he always knew he was adopted.  His parents always let the children know that they were chosen.  But he struggled.  He always felt he didn’t fit in.  His cousins all had dark hair and dark skin and they all looked alike.  His older brother had medical problems and his older sister was needy and required more attention than he.  So Joseph spent a lot of time alone.   He grew up being mandated to take piano lessons.  He hated those piano lessons, but his mother insisted.  She made sure the routine of practice occurred daily.  Going to church was something else that wasn’t an option for the family.  Faith was important to the parents.  The father grew up during the depression.  His family came from Italy for a better life but struggled through this era holding on to each other and God.  The mother was also a product of parents who came from Italy for a better life as they struggled.  The work ethic and Italian family values and traditions of the parents were instilled in Joseph.  He may not have had all Italian blood in him but he had the Italian heart.  

Joseph’s parents were very strict.  He wasn’t allowed to do a lot of things his friends were allowed to do, so while he was attending Catholic High School, he visited the Preparatory Seminary where he felt called for a couple of reasons.  One was that he felt free there.  Another one was that the living conditions seemed attractive. There was an indoor pool; sports that he loved; the mall was close; it seemed like he would have more fun and escape the rigid life at home.  But mainly it was the music at the Mass that pulled on his heart.  It was a calling that he couldn’t define but felt it.  So off he went to spend his last three years of high school.  His parents were so proud that he was in the seminary to discern priesthood.  But inside he felt freed and that he belonged.  

Because of those mandated piano lessons, Joseph excelled musically.  He became the lead musician of the all male choir and planned all the music for the school masses that occurred daily.  Music was a big deal at the high school seminary.  The choir toured every year and between his junior and senior year, the choir master, Father Magary, decided to record a cassette.  Joseph was the lead cantor on the recording at 16.  

Joseph went onto the college seminary for a year, met a girl, struggled with his grades and ended up at West Virginia University.  He graduated with a degree in marketing and finally couldn’t ignore the music that continued to call him from within.  He went on to musical school and was the lead singer in the US Navy Band.  He always felt something missing in his life and was always drawn to church not on his own but because his adopted mother would encourage him to go and participate with his musical gifts.

After his Naval journey and working in the business world, playing in bars and rock bands, and struggling through relationships he met Tracy.  They got married and the road was rocky from the beginning.  After a difficult time Joseph began to realize that something was wrong with him.  He didn’t want to live anymore and had thoughts of ending it all.  But he sought help to figure out what was going on inside of him.

Through counseling, tears, facing fears, and lots of prayer, Joseph found out that he suffered from something called “separation anxiety.”  Separation anxiety is what many adopted children have if they don’t feel loved enough from the adopted parents.  The wound of being left by the natural mother is so deep it is unconscious in the individual but shows itself through difficulties in relationships or even trusting that someone could love them.  The fear of being hurt is so deep that anytime someone gets close, they run the other way.  

Joseph actually had met his birth mother before he entered the Navy because of his longing to know who he was.  They developed a friendship but Joseph became aware that he was in a much better place with his adopted parents.  He called his birth mother after his marriage difficulty to ask her why she gave him up for adoption.   She told him with tears in her eyes, that she had every intention of keeping him.  That she had an option and she chose life for him even though it made her life hard for a little while.  But that day when she went to see him in the nursery, she said she looked at him and loved him so much that she knew she could never give him the life he deserved, so she allowed him to be adopted by another.

That’s when it all began to click.  Even though the wound remains, he began to see how God was present through all of it and he could now deal with his issues in a positive manner.  His life progressed and he wrote songs and gave his witness to many of how it was the love of God that saved him since birth.  He has been able to help many people with their faith journey by bringing the reality of God presence to all of us through word and song.  His story and music reveal how God has worked throughout history through the work of human hands: through our ancestors, through Mary, through Jesus, through his birth mother, adopted parents, and through his wife and family.  Therefore, all because a 16 year old choose life the baby who was named Joseph at birth by the nurses became John Angotti who now shares his adoption story with the world so that all will know that through Christ, with Christ and in Christ, in the unity of the Holy Spirit all glory and honor belongs to God, forever and ever. Amen.

If I Should Die Before I Wake...

Today, two Facebook comments/statuses caught my attention. One was from a college student who used to be in my youth group and one was a comment on a thread discussing the Brittany Maynard "Dying with Dignity" story that has gone viral.

I'm confused... How can we be so sad about Robin Williams' suicide but then celebrate when a woman decides her lethal injection date?I'm not condemning her choice OR supporting it, as I am not in her position and I won't pretend like I am and cast judgement. However, society blindly believes something is great, just because a news story says so. Wake up and use your intelligence people! Gain a perspective or two.. this isn't black & white.

"To herald someone who ends their own life to avoid suffering is to cheapen the long and courageous suffering of those who fight to the finish."

I threw the second one, the comment on a thread from the Brittany Maynard story up on my Facebook wall to see what reaction it would get. 

I was really surprised that there wasn't much reaction at all, and it occurred to me that I have been quiet on this subject for awhile too because....

Well...

I wasn't sure what to think. 

I firmly believe in the seamless garment mentality when it comes to life issues - that life is sacred from conception until natural death. 

In this case, Brittany Maynard was diagnosed with a severe, rapid forming brain cancer. After being given the news that she would only have months to live, she chose not to try radiation and attempt to fight it, but rather to choose the day that she will die. November 1st. 

All Saints Day. 

She described her ideal death... painless... surrounded by people she loves.. with music in the background. This, to her, is dying with dignity.

Other than the fact that even though some words have been changed to make it sound a bit more rosy than it is... this *IS* a suicide. It IS taking one's own life. So the question comes down to.... why is it a beautiful thing in the eyes of society in Brittany's case, but so very tragic and disappointing in someone like Robin Williams' case? Are not/were not both seeking an end to their suffering? 

I came to know an amazing, amazing man, Chris Faddis, through his Facebook updates on the diagnosis, fight, and eventual death of his wife Angela.  I didn't know them personally, but saw their Facebook support group and prayed and grieved with them during their battle with cancer. I was blessed to meet Chris when I invited him to come to my parish in Michigan and share his story with us. And one thing I can say, for absolute certainty... 

Angela died with dignity. 

Her cancer didn't rob her of her dignity. Our suffering does not rob us of our dignity. 

This is why Mother Teresa formed a Home for the Dying. She said:  

"Death with dignity is to die with grace, in the knowledge that [you] are loved."

I have witnessed so, so many people battle cancer and other diseases and cancer, while it is a horrible, monstrous disease, taking our loved ones away from us through slow pain and suffering.... There remains dignity and beauty in each patient. Though we can't always see it through our sadness, anger, and our fears.

Angela Faddis was with her loved ones when she died. Angela was able to love and be loved right to and through her very last breath. She fought for every moment. 

Cancer has touched our family and cancer is a word that pierces the heart at its mere utterance. It takes our breath away, leaving us suffocating for air. 

But it cannot take our dignity. We are more than our health. We are more than the diseases we suffer or the crosses we bear. We have dignity because we are loved. Even the homeless man on the street of Calcutta, with no family, no friends, and no one even knows his name... is loved. The Missionaries Sisters of Charity show the dying love. 

This is death with dignity.  

We don't choose to suffer our disease or ailment because we believe there is some mysterious virtue we can only attain by martyring ourselves. We choose to suffer because we choose to live, and suffering is part of life. 

I will be praying for Brittany Maynard. I won't be praying for her to change her mind about taking her own life. I will be praying for her to realize that death with dignity happens because we are loved and not reduce death with dignity to a pain free death. The pain will end for all of us some day. But may every moment we have be a moment that matters. 

Whether I am diagnosed one day with cancer, or suffer trauma from a car accident, or carry the enormous weight of mental illness... I pray that my family helps me to fight, knowing each moment is sacred. And when it's time to let me go, they can do it knowing the battle is over and we loved each other till the last drop. 

She's Prettier Than Me

I have a confession to make.

I used to be a Green-Eyed Monster.

I was so insecure about myself, that I would stare at other girls --- not believing anyone would notice me... because I was invisible. I was ugly. I was fat. I was shy.

I watched other girls, not in a creeper way, but rather desiring whatever it was they had... beauty, athleticism, certain talents, charisma.

I never hated them, but I suppose it could have gotten to that point. I just desperately wanted to be like them, or even to be them.

One day, after confessing my jealousy for the umpteenth time, a priest said, "I want you to get in the habit of thanking God for whatever it is that you find yourself jealous about... I want you to say, 'Thank you, Lord, for making this girl beautiful.' or 'Thank you, Lord, for making this woman talented.' Even if you don't mean it. Say it."

I really wanted to conquer this nasty jealous beast which kept whispering in my ear,

"You're not good enough."

"You'll never look like her."

"You may as well give up."

"No one will ever like you as much as they like her."

It was eating away at my self-esteem and making me absolutely miserable.

So I cautiously began doing as the priest said. Whenever I met a beautiful woman, I would thank God for her beauty. Whenever I met a funny, charismatic, or outgoing woman, I would thank God for who she is and the gifts she has.

This LITERALLY changed my life.

My perspective is entirely different now, and I don't find myself to be a jealous beast anymore. After years of practicing this habit, I can honestly say I appreciate the beauty and talents I see in others. It really has caused me to see the unique personhood of each woman (or even man) I encounter. It makes me feel that my worth is not dependent upon what I have rated another person's worth to be. I'm not competing. I am who I am and you are who you are. I can acknowledge another woman's beauty or talent without diminishing my own. "She's a better singer than I am and that's... AWESOME!!" I feel more inclined to aspire to something greater than to give up and hide in my coat closet.

I still struggle with insecurity. I will always carry that cross, I think. But not in the way that I used to struggle - where I was insecure because I thought so little of myself and so highly (and highly jealous) of everyone else. These days I'm insecure as in, dangit why did I eat so much that now I can't squeeze into my favorite jeans. Or....  am I doing what I am supposed to be doing in ministry? Or, am I a good mom and wife? Those questions have real answers, but that's another blog topic!

I try to model this for my kids as well:

Wow, that guy is so strong! And you are strong, too, Damien.

That girl was so kind to play with us, wasn't she, Lucia? You girls play so nicely.

I want them to recognize their own uniqueness, while being able to acknowledge someone else's gifts.  I am so happy when Lucia matter of factly says, "That lady is so funny, Mom." Or "She is very nice to me." Or even "Look at her, she is so beautiful!"  If we spent more time thanking God for others, maybe we wouldn't have so much time to be down on ourselves, be jealous, or compare ourselves to other people. Maybe we would be more inclined to focus on who WE are and OUR own strengths and talents. Maybe we could better accept our own crosses, knowing that while other people have different strengths and talents, they also carry different crosses.

In the female land, but in mommy land in particular, this is such a difficult concept. Moms comparing whose house is cleaner and feeling like a failure. Moms comparing whose kids are smarter or more well-behaved... Been there! But before I let it get me down, I feel like it is important for me to thank God for those moms who have clean houses and well-behaved kids! I know it takes a TON of work to accomplish those feats! I also have to accept where I am at, that if I can't keep up or dress up or clean up... then those are areas I can keep plugging away at, but I'm also good at other things. When I wasn't cleaning the house, I was doing other productive things with my time, including taking a break!! When I was cleaning the house, I was contributing to my family's growth and health and sanity!

It's the simple, the mundane things that are really making us holy. ;)

That simple piece of advice so long ago -- to thank God for other people's beauty, talent, treasure, life, gifts, etc -- has changed my life, changed who I am becoming, and helped me get rid of the nasty green-eyed monster inside.

"When you are who you are called to be, you will set the world ablaze." - St. Catherine of Siena



Check out this Pinterest Rainbow Cake I attempted for my daughter's 3rd Birthday:

Here's mine:

Nailed It.

Why, God?

Whoever invented taxes was a jerk.

"Hmm... I really think we should be providing this service and paying for my salary... how should I do this.. OH I'll force people to pay me."

Ok, I get it, there are lots of benefits to taxes... roads, schools, libraries, civil/public services, firemen, police, and other important stuff.

But dang.

Alas was my sticker shock when I went to renew my license plate tags.

"That will be $523.27, " she said.

First of all, if I was asking for that money for a dang sticker on someone's car, I'd be handing them a glass of wine simultaneously.

"What? Five dollars and twenty-three cents?" I said.

"No, $523.27."

"What? FIVE HUNDRED? FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS?!" I said as I pulled my chin off the floor.

"Yes, FIVE TWO THREE POINT TWO SEVEN."

I just about burst into tears.

All I kept thinking was something about death and taxes and I'm so ready to live in a tent somewhere on an island with my family. An island with bountiful fruit trees.

Oy.

Why, God? Why can't we ever seem to get ahead?
-------

I went to our family Holy Hour by myself today and as I was praying the Joyful Mystery of the Rosary (When the angel Gabriel announces to Mary that she is to be the Mother of God). I noticed that she asks, "How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?"

She asks, "How can this be?" How can this happen?

I reflected on other times that the people in the Bible ask the Lord, "How can this be?"

One is 2 Kings 4:43 But his servant said, “How can I set this before a hundred people?” So he repeated, “Give it to the people and let them eat, for thus says the Lord, ‘They shall eat and have some left.’”

One is in John 6, I am the living bread which has come down from heaven. Anyone who eats this bread will live for ever; and the bread that I shall give is my flesh, for the life of the world.'

52 Then the Jews started arguing among themselves, 'How can this man give us his flesh to eat?'

53 Jesus replied to them: In all truth I tell you, if you do not eat the flesh of the Son ofman and drink his blood, you have no life in you.

Jesus says He is the Bread of Life and His followers ask, "How can this be?" How can this happen?

Then of course there is doubting Thomas. Poor Thomas. He just wanted proof of the Lord's resurrection. 

In each of these instances of someone asking the Lord, "How can this be?" He gives them explanations. He never says, "Shut up and just do what I say." Even though, really, the fact that He instructed us to do something should be enough for us to, well, do it. But He doesn't operate like that. 

He answers their questions. I never noticed that before. I always dwelt on Mary's humble submission and Thomas' lack of faith. The Lord says, "Blessed are they who have not seen and yet believe." I thought that meant that to question God is somehow sinful. 

But, the Lord asks us to have faith like a child. When my children ask "Why?" it is because they seek truth and they seek understanding. It's not that they don't trust me, it's that they genuinely want to know the answers. That's the kind of faith we are called to have. 

Faith, sometimes, seems like it's blind. We get caught up in advocating trust and surrender in this sort of passive, blind way. The Lord shows us in these passages that it is okay to cry out, "Why God?" or to ask Him "How can this be?" He isn't a magician who refuses to part with his secrets. He is an all-knowing God who sees the bigger picture beyond what we are capable of, allowing us to ask why and bringing us the answers we need and the signs of hope in Him.

So if you're wondering what the heck is going on in your life, ask Him. 

There is a distinctive attitude difference between Mary and Thomas, though, that is key to our questioning... 

Mary was open, but Thomas had already decided he would not believe -- " But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

We have to be open. When we ask, "Why, God?" We have to be ready for the Truth. We have to seek the Truth. We have to be open to the Truth. Not our truth - His Truth. 

Many times this cry occurs during a tragic time and can easily lead us to despair. We can probably all look back on points in our lives and see how what was once so terrible, has made and shaped us in some way, hopefully for the better. What once seemed insurmountable, we have overcome.  If we seek out answers, not just guided by our feelings at the moment, but really an openness to what God is calling us to, we will have peace, and He will give us the assurance we need. 

I hope and pray that walking as people of faith, we realize it isn't a blind-folded trust walk. It is an active following the Lord where He leads, eyes open and fixed on Him. It is a choice that calls us to put one foot in front of the other. It is a trust that bears fruit in understanding, joy, and peace. 

Praying for all of you who still have to renew your taxes in Ford County, Kansas. I'm already starting to save up for next year...

Why, God? 

:) 

Racism, Hatred, Peace, Justice

I am someone that loves to stay up on current events.

I am also someone that loves to try to see things from different angles. I feel that this ultimately makes my own convictions stronger and also helps me keep an open mind to where I need to reevaluate my own position, always, always through the lens of love, faith, and striving for sanctity.

As I've been watching the events unfold in Ferguson, Missouri, my initial reaction was, like many, to pronounce judgement. How could that white officer just shoot and kill that young black man? He was just a kid. My heart was filled with sorrow.

But I never like to jump on the social media bandwagon, no matter what the issue is.

I have seen the reaction of media, Catholic leaders, speakers, musicians, friends, strangers, etc.

I have seen people say that you can't have an opinion on this that isn't 100% against Officer Wilson if you are white.

People... no matter your race, if you see things in the lens of black and white races, you will never see things through the eyes of Christ.

I reeled back from the vehemently hateful and angry responses, the vitriol which surprised me, spewing out of the mouths of people whose knowledge of the case comes from headlines and social media. I did my own research and I realized...

You know what... we need to take a breath. And we need to be patient. We need to wait for the investigation before we hang the officer for his crime, error in judgement, murder, self-defense, whatever it may have been, in his mind, at that time.

Before anyone feels the urge to slam me, please finish reading.

I am not a racist. My father is Mexican, my mother is Anglo, my sisters are Hispanic, African American, and Caucasian. My father in law is Italian and Irish and my mother in law is Puerto Rican. My family is a rainbow. We are all different religions, different socio-economic backgrounds, etc. I consider myself very open minded. Every summer was spent in inner city Memphis in the projects working with the Missionary Sisters of Charity. I stand by my beliefs in what is morally right or wrong, but I am actively trying to see past where we are different and try to see the human dignity in every person.

I do this because I have realized a tendency in myself -- which I have worked so hard to overcome, with incredible help from my holy husband -- to let anger turn into hatred.

This is how our hearts are hardened...

Someone has wronged you. You are angry, rightly so. Everyone tells you that you have a right to be angry. You keep talking about it, reliving it. You are unwilling to forgive until reparation is made. You hold onto the anger like you will lose your passion for justice if you let it go. You feed it with other people's anger. The anger becomes harder and more intense. It grows and occupies most of your thoughts throughout the day. You become filled with hate. You start to view others with suspicion. If anyone doesn't affirm your righteous anger, you see them as an enemy. The anger builds until it becomes how you see the world. A world not filled with love and hope, but desolation and destruction.

It destroys you.

This is what is happening in Ferguson. And this is happening to those of us who have already cast the stone at Officer Wilson's feet.

Here's the unfortunate thing... you seek justice, but will never find peace.

Luke 6:34-35 "If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. 35"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. 36"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

I do not know what happened that night and to assume so would be fairly foolish.

"What is your source?" 

"Uh, the nightly news, YouTube, and Twitter." 

"Were you an eyewitness?"

 "No, but I saw some video footage on Fox AND MSNBC, so it must be true." 

"Do you know Officer Wilson personally?"

"No, but he's a white man and white policemen are known to be racist."

"Do you know Michael Brown personally?"

"No, but he was college bound."

While it may seem clear to some that this case is cut and dried, I challenge you to wait for the details. The more you are convicted without investigation, the less you are open to truth. 

I have experienced racism. My family has experienced racism. I have experienced sexism. I have experienced ageism. I have experienced discrimination based on the fact that I am Catholic. Other Christian churches practically put the scarlet letter on me when someone comes up to ask if I would speak at their church and then discover I am Catholic. Discrimination and Racism are realities of the world we live in, because people are more comfortable with people who are more like them. It's not just a white issue. It's a... being human issue. 

Those filling their social media with hateful proclamations of racism and judgement are guilty of doing the same thing they claim Officer Wilson did -- rushing to attack. 

One of the most beautiful responses I saw to this entire thing was a girl who was in my small group at a youth retreat awhile ago. She is now a young, married mother. A black woman who serves our country in the US Army. This is part of what she said: 

I know the world is crazy and lost its mind but my friends.. Please stop blaming "white folks" my father, the man on my birth certificate, that I knew up until 12...a white man. My maiden name is from a white man. I went to an all white school, when I graduated and when into the army a white family took me in. My daughter recognizes a white man and white woman as grandparents.. Let's not forget to mention.. My "white" education was supported by my black mother...and Im adopted.. So that white man and black woman TOGETHER chose me and my black brother... But I bet you wouldn't know it by looking at me...... Humans are humans you cannot blame corruption and sin on white people or color just because they are the ones the media chooses to highlight. 

I know this girl, and when she speaks out, she is speaking out with the intent and desire to love people more deeply regardless of race, sin, sex, creed, corruption. Her words in seeking justice are out of love. 

Please, especially those who have lots of influence by your position in society, the Church, school, etc. Please reevaluate how you have been reacting to this tragic situation, from one of anger and hatred, to one of mercy and love. Come together and pray for Michael Brown and Officer Wilson. Come and pray and work so that there doesn't have to be so much tension between people and police, white and black, Mexican, Catholic, Protestant, Atheist, etc. 

Pray for humility. Pray to see people as Jesus sees them. Ask for help to forgive. Pray to love people as Jesus loves them. Love the people in your life, forgive the people in your life. Pray to be a person of peace. 

There are no saints that withheld forgiveness, going to their death in an angry tirade for justice, taunting their persecutors. Passionate for justice truly means passionate for peace, love, and mercy. 

Love and mercy have to be regular disciplines of His disciples. And that's hardcore. Way harder than throwing a brick into a store window, yelling and screaming about injustice, and sending Officer Wilson to his own death. 

It will never help a heart to repent or to love you. 

It has a greater chance of making them hate you. 

It will never help you to love, but only increase your own hatred. 

I, myself, have been praying for my own areas in life that I need to forgive and let go of anger, so believe me, this is a journey we are all on together. 

I am still recovering from the anger in my previous blog... 

My whole body was tense, knots in my stomach, sleepless nights. While I have every right to be angry and believe me, this fight for advocacy for adequate mental health treatment that is not dictated by insurance companies and hospital policies over people isn't over... I realize I need to take a breath, focus, and figure out what I can do. What I CAN DO. Not just a general rant of "what should be done" but what I myself, with the connections that I have, the gifts that I have, the ministry that I have, am capable of doing. 

I already am working on it, friends. Please pray for me too. 

I'm not asking anyone to give up the fight for justice. I am asking you to understand what justice, through the eyes of faith really is. And it is framed in love and peace. Not hatred and division. 

Praying for Ferguson. Praying for my friends who are truly hurting because of this tragedy. 

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.

The Breakdown of Humanity on Facebook

Sigh.

My heart broke again today as I learned that Zelda, Robin Williams' daughter, was run off from her social media accounts due to the harassment and negative messages she was receiving from others. It is absolutely unacceptable that she should receive anything at all other than love and support. What the heck is wrong with people?

Then I see this video in which a Pastor calls out those rioting in the streets of Ferguson, Missouri and the African American leaders who show up for the press conferences, but then disassociate themselves from their own communities. While the Pastor is addressing exclusively the African American community in his message, I can't help but feel that his message is one that applies to all of us. If you watch the video, it's intense, but you'll understand. Don't think that message just applies to one group of people - it applies to all of us.

You see, social media, in my opinion, has led to the breakdown in respect for all authority. Social media makes you a leader without earning it. How many friends or followers we have gives us this false sense of authority and leadership. You gain followers, friends, and likes -- for what? Posting a duck-face selfie? I'm not opposed to duck faced selfies, I just can't pull it off.

In fact, when I take a photo, I delete it if I wouldn't put it on Facebook.

Remember when you took pictures and what you got is what you got? I have practically a whole envelope of pictures from Myrtle Beach with my thumb in each photo.

The opposite is also true. No likes equates with no one likes me or cares about me. No event invitations means no one wants me. It becomes a deeply felt rejection. No likes on my photo means I'm ugly.

Social media has also given us a platform to post our expert opinions regardless of whether or not we are experts in the matter. This has led us to unprecedented narcissism on a mass scale. How many likes we get equates with how right we are. I remember being in a debate once - a friendly exchange, but nonetheless a debate - and those who were reading our comments were "liking" the comment they agreed with. If the other person had more likes than I did, I felt in some way I had lost the argument. If I had more likes, I equated it with victory!

This. Is. Insane!!!!!

In every hot topic issue these days, all of a sudden EVERYONE is an expert. Our experiences all of a sudden are scientific data. Our feelings equate with truth and no one can sift through to find the flaws in our logic or statements because this is "our" Facebook page and we will just delete your comments or unfriend you. *Not me, I am speaking in general. I've only ever unfriended a couple of people and it wasn't because they disagreed with me, it was because of harassment.* I welcome friendly disagreements and intellectual debates. The unfortunate thing is that nowadays our only research to form opinions seems to rest entirely on what "most people" believe. Very few have a conviction that they stand by - as soon as everyone starts changing their profile picture, they jump on the bandwagon even if they have no idea what it means!  At one point, "most people" believed the earth was flat. Popular opinion is not always right, and in fact given the recent mass hysteria we have seen in so many news stories of late, we can see it is often wrong. People react, then defend their feelings on the matter, then maybe, maybe do some research. We have seen a total breakdown in critical thinking.

We conduct ourselves in the most asinine ways on social media sometimes. People have the guts, carelessness, motivation, impulsiveness, drive, whatever it's called, to say things in a manner that they would never say face to face. Sometimes it is in the name of "truth". Sometimes it is in the name of religion or creed. Sometimes it is meant to genuinely enlighten someone, but because of the venom with which it is written it can't be seriously taken. And don't get me started on the passive aggressive postings which are posted with enough ambiguity to let us feel innocent of calling someone out, but enough bait to draw them in and tick them off.

OY.

So.....

I didn't write this post just to spew a bunch of venomous feelings and opinions and duck faced selfies.

I am writing this post to challenge us to take our message to the streets, in essence. Get out from behind our social media faces and actually be real friends with real people.

Our son embarrassed us today by yelling out "That lady is SCARY!". "That Lady" was within earshot and we immediately shushed him and explained that we don't say those things about people.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because that lady is God's kid."

That person that is really saying some inciteful, not insightful, things is God's kid.

That person who is posting their love for everything you deem wrong in the world, is God's kid.

That person who annoys you in real life and virtual life, is God's kid.

Instead of talking about what's wrong with the world, let's BE what is right in the world. Like the Pastor in the video above said... WE have to change US.

Rather than try to convince someone that he or she is wrong on a subject, let's start practicing charity. Let's ask ourselves, would I say this, in this way, to this person if they were standing right in front of me? And if it gets heated, as the Pastor says, HUMBLE thyself, and back down.

And please don't say, "I'll pray for you."

Just do it.

Then you can giggle sneakily and say, "Hehehe, I prayed for that person and they didn't even know it!"

Especially if you profess to love the Lord, let your truths be laced in virtue. God is love. Sure, He turned over tables. But He also loved people - not the fluffy everything-you-do-is-great-you're-so-great kind of love, but the love that caused people to change because with all their hearts they wanted the kind of love that loved them where they were at, but challenged them to be better. I'm not advocating tolerance. Tolerance is the inadequate substitute for love and often very much the opposite. Tolerance says, just do your thing, I don't care, you can't strive for more or better. Love says you are worth so much and while I may not agree with you or your choices, I have the utmost care for you as a child of God.

Emotional posts from someone who is just really praying for more love in this broken-hearted world.

Love you all,
Noelle

My House isn't Small. My Thankfulness is.

Recently, I was having a conversation in Spanish with someone who was asking me about our new house. Side note: It was amazing to me that I was actually speaking Spanish (at least, to me it was Spanish.. to him it may have been Spanglish with a side of southern accent!).

Anyway... he asked me how big it was and I said, well, it's a small house. The main floor is about 1000 square feet, but the basement is finished. 

"Wow. That's big."

I was instantly ashamed of myself as I remembered he lives in a smaller house... with multiple families.

I was instantly ashamed not so much because of what I said, but because of my lack of gratefulness. I am really excited about our house and we are working hard in it, but what I said didn't express that at all.  

In the first two houses David and I rented, we fell to our knees and prayed a prayer of thanksgiving for the house. In this new house, we've been focused on the work that we need to do to get it ready rather than just taking a moment to give thanks. 

When we are grateful, we take pride in showing off our blessings. I always show people pictures of my kids. I love them and know they are a blessing in my life. When someone gives me a thoughtful gift, I am excited to tell/show friends. 

But there are so many things in my life that I take for granted, and so many lessons I need to learn from others. 

I am currently in New Mexico and had a lovely conversation with a young youth minister here who asked me how to help people be less negative. It took me some time to understand, as we spoke, that what is at the root of all this negative talk is a lack of gratefulness. We complain because we are unsatisfied and we are unsatisfied because we want more, something different, or we are uncomfortable or suffering. It's easy to zoom in on the things that are causing us to complain rather than to turn our eyes towards the things for which we should be grateful. When we are grateful, we can experience joy and hope. When we become bitter by our circumstance, we only reflect bitterness, and will continue to be miserable and make others miserable around us. 

Being grateful isn't a feeling. It's a discipline. 

If we want to be a thankful people, we have to practice giving thanks. We all know the verse that instructs us to "Pray without ceasing", but the rest of that verse... 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says:

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

We are instructed not just to give thanks when good things happen to us, but to give thanks in ALL circumstances. 

I'm going to make giving thanks a regular part of my day, to God and to my brothers and sisters in Christ who may not know how they are appreciated. To my family, to my wonderful, holy husband who is such a great dad and friend. 

Thank you for reading. :)

PS.  I continue to thank all of you who have blessed our CD funding campaign. We are almost to 30% of our goal, but have a ways to go. Please consider even the smallest donation or shortest prayer contribution. God bless! http://www.gofundme.com/9mm60s?preview=1

When I Grow Up, I want to be Her Husband

"Hey Mommy!" said my three year old, almost four year old son as he jumped on to his bed for his night time story.

"Hi Sweetie!" 

"I need to tell you something. When I grow up, I am going to be Lucia's husband." He said with a big smile!

"Honey, Lucia is your sister. You can't be her husband but you can always protect her. A different lady will be your wife someday."

He was confused, but in true three year old fashion, changed the subject right away. 

That conversation struck me though, and almost made me want to cry. In his innocence, and as young as he is, he has a true love for his sister. He loves her so much that he wants to be with her forever. He couldn't imagine anyone else taking her place. 

What kind of love is this? This is the kind of love we all long to give and the kind of love we all long to receive. 

But as we get older, we break a little more easily. 

As we get older, we lose our purity of heart through sin, abuse, neglect, trials, sufferings of any sort, and that love starts to come with price tags and conditions. 

I will love you as long as you never hurt me. 

I will love you as long as you live up to my expectations. 

I will love you as long as you don't love anyone else but me, 

My children get it. They get that free love. This is, in part, why I love the movie, "Frozen". Anna and Elsa have a true love for one another that isn't broken through the years. It isn't suddenly swept up in emotions and hormones from a prince charming entering the picture. It is through good and bad, cold and warmth, everlasting. 

This is the kind of love we are made for. Nothing else will satisfy us. This is the kind of love that a child can give with all his or her might! But this is the kind of love that only God can give, that lasts and heals and will never change. It will never have a price tag or a condition. It is freely given to us who want it and accept it. 

It is arms open wide, outstretched on the cross, pouring down from our Savior's side. No one can take our place. No one can take His place in our lives. 

This love calls us to love beyond earth and feelings and hormones and romance and plants us deep into the heart of Christ, where we can learn to love like Him. 

I fail so often at loving people. I start to feel bad when I'm short tempered or impatient or struggling to forgive - It is easy to feel like a failure and let that consume me. When I look to the cross, though, I see that love requires sacrifice. To love authentically really means to put another person before yourself, and while I may never be called to give up my life in death for someone I love, I am called to die to my self, my own selfishness, my own pride, my own way of doing things and LOVE that person, SERVE that person, and PRAY for that person. 

God bless you tonight and I pray we can love more. "What the world needs now... is love, sweet love..." Not fluffy gone in a day love, but everlasting Love. 

Amen! 

I Failed at Lent

Normally, I can't stand blogs that glorify epic fails. It's practically trendy to have five mountains of laundry or a bad hair day and blog about how terrible you are at life, but I am writing this blog not to glorify my failure, rather to show you what I've learned from it. 

I spent a LOT of time thinking and praying about what to give up for Lent. I was already on a healthy eating crusade, so giving up some type of food just seemed more like a diet versus a sacrifice. I know that any food sacrifice would have tempted me immediately to vanity and scale watching. Plus, the whole first week of Lent, I didn't eat anyway, because I had a stomach bug!

I don't watch television, so that was out. I tried to limit my phone time, but then the kids all got perpetually sick and we've had various situations that required my immediate, lengthy, and time-consuming dwelling in the virtual world. Aside from the business and dramatic end of being connected to my phone like it was an added appendage, I just needed an outlet! No good comes from having a news app, by the way. Don't do it.

I tried to add more prayer and have been mostly successful, but was so, so discouraged by missing Masses due to sick kids who always seem to get sick on Saturday nights and into Sunday mornings. Due to David's work schedule, trying to take turns going to one Mass while the other stayed home with the kids was extremely difficult and sometimes impossible. Oh, and sometimes one of us was sick, too! 

I've been asking the Lord, "WHAT, What do You want from me? I just can't hear You and I'm sorry that I can't seem to get Lent right this year." 

I've been feeling like an epic Lenten failure. Disconnected from Mass, seeing other people graciously abstain from sweets and soda or even some who are doing service work.  They seem so connected to their spiritual growth and Lenten sacrifice, and it kinda makes me feel like I fail at Lent. 

Here I am, in the middle of Lent, still asking... Lord, what can I do for Lent, to help me grow in holiness? 

Monday night, I went to Confession.  It's been a really rough few weeks for a number of reasons, but the least I could do is repent and get rid of my sins and ways I've acted uncharitably during these weeks. After I had finished confessing my sins -- (My husband said, "You sure were in there a long time!" haha) -- the Bishop (yep, Bishop) said to me that he knows a mother who, when things get crazy, just makes the Sign of the Cross right then and there. I thought to myself, Ok, that's nice, I can do that, just to refocus and center myself on Christ. And I walked away... 

As I came home, however, frustrated that the events of the past few weeks have left me with a mountain of laundry and entire house to clean, I reflected on what the Bishop said. Make the Sign of the Cross. The Cross. 

The Cross. 

All of a sudden it dawned on me. Lent is about taking up your cross. When I used to think of carrying my cross in the context of Lent, I thought it was the cross I chose for myself, like giving up caffeine (actually that's more like forcing everyone around me to take up their crosses in dealing with me, ha). I thought the cross was my choosing and my doing.

But it's not. The cross is a cross chosen for me. I can choose to take it up or be a giant whiney pants about it. But the cross that is chosen for me is the cross that will get me to Heaven. It is the cross that will enable me to grow in the virtues I lack and strengthen the virtues I've been given by grace. This cross is the cross uniquely picked for me that will set an example to others around me in similar circumstances who are on the fence about taking up their own cross and on the fence about following Jesus. 

The Lord is telling me, through the suffering I am dealing with and have dealt with the past few weeks, to carry the cross HE has allowed me to endure. He is asking me to suffer a little more graciously and to offer it up. The cross I've been carrying has weighed me down and practically smothered me, because I've been telling the Lord that I need a different cross and that I don't need Him. I haven't relied on Him completely. I've relied on me completely and I know I fell more than three times.

Jesus needed help carrying His cross. Why should I think I'm stronger than the King of the Universe? (Even though I've been doing a LOT of strength training....)

I need to relax. I don't have to wear a burlap sack to make this a fruitful Lent. I need to bear my sufferings with holy patience and love. I need to quit worrying about my Lenten activities and start practicing daily holiness not just in the times when it's easy to feel God's love.

That's my call this Lent.

The Lord has shown me He works in our desire for holiness, but He also works in our shortcomings.

It's funny that I had this revelation the week after the Gospel reading about Jesus healing the blind man. Sometimes we can't see that we are blind.

Open my eyes, Lord. Amen! 

I Don't Give Up on You. I Surrender You.

I just returned last week from an amazing trip doing music ministry at LA Congress in Anaheim. While I was performing at the World Library Publications booth, I introduced my song, "Serenity" based on the Serenity prayer (and available on iTunes *wink*) as a song about surrender and letting go and submitting to/following God's will. The words to the refrain are

"Lord give me the serenity to stay where I am, 

the courage to take another step, 

and the wisdom to know I can't do either without You." 

After I finished the song, a woman approached me, holding my CD's, and said, "Was that song called, 'Let Go'?" And I said, "No, that's a different song." She said, "I thought you said this song is about letting go?" 

I had to laugh. A lot of my songs are about surrender, letting go... releasing my hold on things I can't control! It is an ongoing theme in my life. (She bought both CD's, so maybe we have something in common!) 

Above daily chores, health, stress, or responsibilities, I think it's hardest for me to let people go. 

"I love you and you are Mine" is one of my favorite lines from a song, spoken from Scripture. It is so difficult - near impossible for me - to say, "You love him/her and he/she is Yours." 

I don't have any trouble at all with "You love him/her." It's the "Yours" part that I have trouble with. 

My son. My daughter. My husband. My mother. My father. My sister. My brother. My friend. 

Mine, Mine, Mine. 

Not. Yours. At least we can share responsibility, ok, Lord? 

When our loved ones are sick, dying, leaving the faith, or making self-destructive choices, our instinct is to grab on to them, to grasp and cling to maddening, smothering affect. We feel unsettled, hurt, frantic, every muscle tense, trying to figure out what WE can do. What I can do. And we feel like failures if we can do nothing. We feel powerless and helpless. We would die for that person to be healed, to turn back to the faith, or to choose a better life for themselves. 

But Someone already did die for this person to be healed, turn back, choose life. 

Jesus. Jesus, You died before I breathed my first breath. You died for my loved ones before they opened their eyes in this world. Jesus. 

Why can't I trust? Why can't I know beyond my mind and deep down to the core of my being that God loves this person more than I do and is pursuing them more than I can? Why is it so hard to remember that this person's healing and salvation is not in my hands? If I don't believe these things, then I can't adequately say that I believe in an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God. 

I have to let you go. I have to surrender you. 

I don't let you go in the sense that you are hanging from a cliff and I release my hold on your hand, letting you fall to your destruction. Rather, I carry you in my heart and I gently place you in the hands of our Savior who loves you more than I do. All your needs, all your desires, all your questions, all your sickness, all your struggles, everything. 

And I let go. You are His child. Not mine. In trusting me with your care, my son, my daughter, my husband, my mother, my father, my sister, my brother, my friend... the Lord has given me great responsibilities. I will love, forgive, care for, and pray for you. But above all, the greatest thing I can do for you, is gently place you in our Father's hands who knows your heart more than I ever could and Who can satisfy you more than I am capable. 

He loves you, and you are His. 

Amen. 

She is Beautiful

My husband and I have wrapped up a few weeks of local speaking engagements and Q&A sessions on all things regarding teens' ideas of sex, dating, and relationships. It has been interesting on many levels. I realized how little I knew about any of the aforementioned topics when I was their age and I realized that relationships and maintaining purity in those relationships is the struggle that is on their minds and the battleground of their hearts - a battleground upon which an all out war is being waged.

I am not blogging tonight to discuss all of the topics that came up in our time listening and learning about these beautiful young people. Though there were many areas for celebration and many areas of heartbreak. I am blogging tonight about giving glory to God for beauty. Every sexual sin is a distortion of God's created beauty. Let's dissect a few...

1) Pornography.

Even though porn is becoming a woman's addiction too, I am going to address it from the more common occurrence of the male addiction. Porn is the number one common thread behind all molesters, predators, cheaters... and yet it is also abused by people we know and love in our homes, schools, church communities, places of business, etc. It's seen as harmless entertainment initially. It is seen as "no one's business." It is even seen as a sign of healthy sexual development.

But that "healthy sexual development" soon takes a nasty turn as it becomes addiction, consuming the consumer. It leads to isolation, withdrawing into oneself, a distorted view of women - seeing them as objects, not God's beauty.

If God created woman last, that she would be the crown of all creation - the most beautiful created thing in the world... her appearance in pornography would be akin to Van Gogh's "Starry Night" as the background of a dart board, in the basement cellar of a rundown liquor store. A porn film for a woman, just as the dart board in a basement cellar of a rundown liquor store, is no appropriate place for that kind of beauty.

In porn the focus is not on the woman's beauty. She becomes the subject, the object, for whatever actions may be put upon her. She lowers her own dignity to engage in acts at the will of her directors. She is not admired. She is not honored. She is not treasured. Her beauty is long forgotten in a whirlwind of the sexual desire which should have gone hand in hand with the passion from a man who promises before God to love her forever.

When a man sees a woman as crown of creation - when he sees her as God created her to be- he will seek to protect that beauty with his very life.

2) Sex outside of Marriage

In Scripture, the adulterous woman is scorned. Women hate her. Men see her as undignified, a sinner, and an object of their own lusts. Jesus reaches out to her, even despite the scandal it may cause Him to associate with her. Why? Because He sees her beauty and how her beauty has been abused and forsaken. She tries to tell Jesus that she doesn't have any husband, and Jesus, in the Scripture's most amazing case of quick wit, tells her... You're right! You've had five and the one you are with now isn't your husband! This Samaritan woman receives the living water of the Lord and does not go back to her old ways. She now realizes that she has something worth protecting.

When we as women give ourselves away whether it be sex or just dressing as to leave little to the imagination, we are saying with our bodies that what we have isn't beauty to be honored, but sexy to be taken. We don't demand that our men fight for us. We don't challenge them on to holiness. It is like taking our most prized possession and freely giving it away to empty promises or unfulfilled commitments.

Miley Cyrus gave an interview where she said that she behaves the way she does because she is comfortable in her sexuality. If you gave your brand new car to a guy you didn't even know and told him he could do whatever he wanted with it, people would not say that you are "comfortable" with loaning out your car. They would say that you must not care very much about that car. What we value, we protect. It says a lot about us if we value ourselves and our bodies by what we do with it - if we value it, we protect it. We dress modestly. We give it to the person who we love, who has earned it by his love and it is a mutual gift in marriage- not one-sided, "I give, you get", intended until death does us part.

3) Jealousy

This isn't technically a sexual sin, but the thing many of us struggle day to day with is to overcome is jealousy relating to beauty and sexuality. We are jealous of her body or his body or her boyfriend or his girlfriend. We want what they have. We want their personality, we want their circumstance, we compare and put down the gifts we have been given.

I used to be really jealous. I was jealous of my younger siblings for the attention they got and the looser restrictions they had (I'm the oldest!) and I was jealous of my beautiful relatives and friends. I was jealous of other women's bodies in particular, always comparing myself. I was jealous of other people's musical successes, their voices/monetary success.

I finally was able to have a real conversion from this when I started thanking God that the person I was jealous of had an amazing gift. I thanked God for my friend's beauty. I thanked God for my friend's successes. I thanked God and thus began a pattern of seeking beauty. I always tell my daughter she is beautiful - because I want it to be so ingrained that it becomes a matter of truth, not a matter of opinion. Once, we were at a restaurant and the waitress came to take our order. As she walked away, my three year old son said, "Mama, she is beautiful." I praised God right then and there that he always seeks beauty and not only that - says it out loud. I am thankful that I married a man who has a special gift to see beauty - he seeks holiness, which is true beauty! He seeks Christ in others, which is true beauty! I never worry when a physically attractive woman enters our lives, because he has made a habit of seeking true beauty and I have made a habit of seeking true beauty and we BOTH have made a habit of thanking God for this beauty.

You are beautiful. She is beautiful. I am beautiful.

I truly believe that if we could all start thanking God for the beautiful things and beautiful people we see, we will begin to be repulsed when we see abuses of that beauty, especially in regards to sexual sin. I believe women will begin to guard that beauty and give thanks to God for their fellow woman's beauty causing us women to support each other rather than turn into jealous, bitter ladies. I believe men will begin to fight for that beauty and defend women from another who would use that beauty for him or herself.

And....I believe...

the world will be a more beautiful place.