Why I Don't Care if People Criticize My Family Size

Our family, just before we moved to Kansas, right after Elias was born. 

Here's the thing....

I hear and see SO MANY complaints from moms frustrated with the (often) rude comments people make about the number of kids they have, particularly if they are close together. Some of those comments include things such as..

"Haven't you figured out how that happens yet?"

"Maybe your husband should start sleeping on the couch."

"Wow, that's a big family." (Said at 3+ kids...)

"You have your hands full."


These comments which have been said to us even by people fairly close to us, don't bother me in the least.

Yes, I have figured out how that happens. (hehehe)

Yes, I do have my hands full.

It doesn't bother me because I am not at all surprised that someone can't understand why we would have three children in five years and still be open to more. When it comes down to it, there are a MILLION different reasons to NOT have a child.

Here are a few of ours:
1) We don't make very much money.
2) We have jobs that require odd hours and travel.
3) Our family lives far away and it could become fiscally impossible to visit them as plane ticket costs skyrocket. (Pun intended).
4) We are already out numbered, as parents.
5) Our house is small.

You get my drift.

So I can totally understand why someone would be surprised that we would be open to having more children. I don't fault them for it in the least, while there are more polite ways they could broach the subject, I love talking about our children and the joy they have brought to our lives. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that each child is a treasure for which we are so thankful, especially as I witness the painful, heart-breaking struggle of infertility.

Each child is SO UNBELIEVABLY different, and a lot of people don't understand that either. They think we just keep replicating the same DNA/person over and over again.... Procreating with reckless abandon, as my husband would say.  Each child, though, is uniquely different from the other, and their contributions to our family and society will be vastly different. Even my relationship with each one is very different. My oldest is curious and more anxious than his brother and sister. My daughter is perceptive and affectionate. My youngest is shy but learns fast. Simply because they look alike or come from the same genes means nothing in terms of their personalities!

Some people may see me dealing with a toddler meltdown at the grocery store and think, "I'm so glad I don't have kids!" As I, myself, am thinking, "What was I thinking, having kids?" HA!

But so many more will see our family laugh, go on adventures, pray together, comfort each other, and love each other and in wonderment say "How do you do it - live your dreams and raise kids?" They are part of the dream, baby. ;)

So maybe instead of taking offense the next time an offensive comment is made, let's use it as an opportunity for joy - remembering that each child entrusted to us is a gift and we chose to have them despite having a million reasons not to. The sacrifice that comes from being a parent is incredible. But the love in mine and David's household is multiplied by three.

Our cup overfloweth.

Sometimes also our toilet...

But it's worth it.


This picture was taken at a restaurant we visited after recording all day in the studio. This is what happens when someone else's kid is crying in the restaurant. ;)

When I Grow Up, I want to be Her Husband

"Hey Mommy!" said my three year old, almost four year old son as he jumped on to his bed for his night time story.

"Hi Sweetie!" 

"I need to tell you something. When I grow up, I am going to be Lucia's husband." He said with a big smile!

"Honey, Lucia is your sister. You can't be her husband but you can always protect her. A different lady will be your wife someday."

He was confused, but in true three year old fashion, changed the subject right away. 

That conversation struck me though, and almost made me want to cry. In his innocence, and as young as he is, he has a true love for his sister. He loves her so much that he wants to be with her forever. He couldn't imagine anyone else taking her place. 

What kind of love is this? This is the kind of love we all long to give and the kind of love we all long to receive. 

But as we get older, we break a little more easily. 

As we get older, we lose our purity of heart through sin, abuse, neglect, trials, sufferings of any sort, and that love starts to come with price tags and conditions. 

I will love you as long as you never hurt me. 

I will love you as long as you live up to my expectations. 

I will love you as long as you don't love anyone else but me, 

My children get it. They get that free love. This is, in part, why I love the movie, "Frozen". Anna and Elsa have a true love for one another that isn't broken through the years. It isn't suddenly swept up in emotions and hormones from a prince charming entering the picture. It is through good and bad, cold and warmth, everlasting. 

This is the kind of love we are made for. Nothing else will satisfy us. This is the kind of love that a child can give with all his or her might! But this is the kind of love that only God can give, that lasts and heals and will never change. It will never have a price tag or a condition. It is freely given to us who want it and accept it. 

It is arms open wide, outstretched on the cross, pouring down from our Savior's side. No one can take our place. No one can take His place in our lives. 

This love calls us to love beyond earth and feelings and hormones and romance and plants us deep into the heart of Christ, where we can learn to love like Him. 

I fail so often at loving people. I start to feel bad when I'm short tempered or impatient or struggling to forgive - It is easy to feel like a failure and let that consume me. When I look to the cross, though, I see that love requires sacrifice. To love authentically really means to put another person before yourself, and while I may never be called to give up my life in death for someone I love, I am called to die to my self, my own selfishness, my own pride, my own way of doing things and LOVE that person, SERVE that person, and PRAY for that person. 

God bless you tonight and I pray we can love more. "What the world needs now... is love, sweet love..." Not fluffy gone in a day love, but everlasting Love. 

Amen!