Hi All!
Sorry for the delay! One of my kids knocked water on my computer so I could not use certain keys on my keyboard because they typed several other letters and even just writing a Facebook status was brutally obnoxious and with the little ones and our CD launch this week which I am behind in press for oy.... Those of you with nutty schedules realize time is gold!
Anywho, the stats...
Starting weight sixish weeks postpartum was 185
Current weigh in this week is 177.
Total loss is 8 lbs.
Now, I gotta tell ya.... I started to feel pretty discouraged that I could not seem to get my appetite under control, so I madly avoided the scale and I am actually thinking that it is better mentally for me to not weigh-in when I feel like I did not do so great in eating healthy. Another thing to remind myself and just to make sure you know too, the number on the scale is just a number. The important thing is that I am feeling SO MUCH STRONGER and starting to get some muscle back to where I am not out of breath carrying my adorable gianormous basketball player newborn baby up the stairs.
Seriously, he is my exercise at almost 16 pounds and not even 3 months till November 5th....
So, in nursing the baby still, I am struggling the most with appetite which has always been my downfall as I like to exercise. I am trying to find a good balance of maintaining the calories that I need for nursing and strength-training daily but not too much where I am not able to trim some of the baby weight that makes my clothes nice and snug. I do NOT have the budget for new clothes, so the only thing I can do is work this weight off or live in stretchy pants, which at this point doesn't seem like a bad option. Ha! I do feel like there is a little less jiggle in my wiggle...
Still plugging away. I decided to never start on Mondays. Every day is a new day for reclaiming a healthier me ! But, other than sleep exhaustion from newborn life, I am feeling great! It is amazing how a little exercise goes a long, long way.
I am so thankful to my friends who regularly come over and work out with me cause I don't think I would be as disciplined without the accountability of three friends showing up when it is still dark outside! Extra hour of sleep this weekend! Woo!
Until next time..
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Friday, October 23, 2015
Behind the Music #2: Waiting
One of my favorite songs on our new CD is "Waiting". David came up with the beautiful guitar music and played for me while I ran and grabbed the words I had just written down a few days prior. It came together in moments, which is a miracle in and of itself because writing music with your spouse is one of the most difficult, beautiful, personal, intimate, rage-inducing activities ever! :)
I had just reconnected with some old friends and while sitting in Adoration one day, began to reflect on the different paths we have all taken growing up. Some of us work for the Church and some of us want nothing at all to do with the Church some of us are married and some of us are single, some have kids, some do not, some have traveled the world, and some have stayed in the town they grew up in. I thought about why it was that I have chosen the path I have chosen when I could have made so many different choices and I realized...
My path isn't much different from anyone else's, really, when it comes to those who have left the faith and those who have not. The only difference between me and a friend who left their faith behind is that I decided to turn around and come back.
I have made some bad choices. I was a pretty big hypocrite at different points in my life. I hurt others and they hurt me and I remember wondering why should I love God in the midst of all the suffering? Why should I follow Him when it seemed so much easier to walk away or stay complacent?
But there would always be something.
SOMETHING that would draw me back.
A song on the radio... a comment from a friend or family member... an experience... a gentle reminder of my faith... maybe the prayers of someone who loved me.
And I would always remember that the one thing I knew for certain, though I didn't know how or why is....
God loves me.
He loves me.
And that's enough.
It is so easy for an innocent child to believe in God. They believe in hope, they believe in love, they offer mercy to the bully on the playground, they trust freely. Until when?
Until someone breaks that trust. Until someone takes their innocence. Until they make choices and lose their innocence. It happens to all of us at one point or another.
World-crushing pain, suffering, or sin.
That's when I think we become jaded. We mistrust God. We doubt Him. We start by doubting His love for us. Then we doubt His plan for us. Then we doubt His existence. Yet, His love is so great that He allows us to go through this process. He allows us to reject Him. He is with us even as we walk away.
He is waiting. Waiting.
The chorus of the song is this:
"You waited for me, You waited for me to look up and see You waiting on me,
Waiting on me to say 'Here I am'".
One of the biggest lessons I have had to learn -- one of the biggest conversions in my heart and one of the most beautiful, powerful, moving realizations is written in the bridge of this song... "You say to me I am not my sin, I am not defined by mistakes. You restored my heart by grace. I am forgiven. I am forgiven...
I am forgiven."
Sometimes it is our sin and mistakes that keep us away from God. We put a veil of false humility and "unworthiness" over our heads. Or we divide ourselves from union with Him out of our own arrogance that we know better. Though deep down, I wonder if in those moments we even trust ourselves in the midst of not trusting Him. Do we not realize, He died for all of our sins? Do we not realize that in claiming unworthiness we in effect exclude ourselves from being open to receiving His mercy and grace?! Why not take advantage of His grace, love, hope, peace, mercy and put our own selfishness aside for a moment.
He never, EVER, says we aren't good enough to run to Him!! Read the lives of the saints. Some of the greatest saints were the greatest sinners and I think that is because they lived lives with PASSION! When you give everything over to sin, then have an encounter with God, you already know what it is to give everything and you know, now, how to give everything to God. Not because He asks for it, but because you WANT to because you love Him, too.
It's just an act of the will to actually do it. To give Him everything, knowing He loves you and has given you everything.
That is what I aspire to.
And every time I fall or decide to walk away, He is still there. Every time I doubt, He is still there.
Waiting.
I had just reconnected with some old friends and while sitting in Adoration one day, began to reflect on the different paths we have all taken growing up. Some of us work for the Church and some of us want nothing at all to do with the Church some of us are married and some of us are single, some have kids, some do not, some have traveled the world, and some have stayed in the town they grew up in. I thought about why it was that I have chosen the path I have chosen when I could have made so many different choices and I realized...
My path isn't much different from anyone else's, really, when it comes to those who have left the faith and those who have not. The only difference between me and a friend who left their faith behind is that I decided to turn around and come back.
I have made some bad choices. I was a pretty big hypocrite at different points in my life. I hurt others and they hurt me and I remember wondering why should I love God in the midst of all the suffering? Why should I follow Him when it seemed so much easier to walk away or stay complacent?
But there would always be something.
SOMETHING that would draw me back.
A song on the radio... a comment from a friend or family member... an experience... a gentle reminder of my faith... maybe the prayers of someone who loved me.
And I would always remember that the one thing I knew for certain, though I didn't know how or why is....
God loves me.
He loves me.
And that's enough.
It is so easy for an innocent child to believe in God. They believe in hope, they believe in love, they offer mercy to the bully on the playground, they trust freely. Until when?
Until someone breaks that trust. Until someone takes their innocence. Until they make choices and lose their innocence. It happens to all of us at one point or another.
World-crushing pain, suffering, or sin.
That's when I think we become jaded. We mistrust God. We doubt Him. We start by doubting His love for us. Then we doubt His plan for us. Then we doubt His existence. Yet, His love is so great that He allows us to go through this process. He allows us to reject Him. He is with us even as we walk away.
He is waiting. Waiting.
The chorus of the song is this:
"You waited for me, You waited for me to look up and see You waiting on me,
Waiting on me to say 'Here I am'".
One of the biggest lessons I have had to learn -- one of the biggest conversions in my heart and one of the most beautiful, powerful, moving realizations is written in the bridge of this song... "You say to me I am not my sin, I am not defined by mistakes. You restored my heart by grace. I am forgiven. I am forgiven...
I am forgiven."
Sometimes it is our sin and mistakes that keep us away from God. We put a veil of false humility and "unworthiness" over our heads. Or we divide ourselves from union with Him out of our own arrogance that we know better. Though deep down, I wonder if in those moments we even trust ourselves in the midst of not trusting Him. Do we not realize, He died for all of our sins? Do we not realize that in claiming unworthiness we in effect exclude ourselves from being open to receiving His mercy and grace?! Why not take advantage of His grace, love, hope, peace, mercy and put our own selfishness aside for a moment.
He never, EVER, says we aren't good enough to run to Him!! Read the lives of the saints. Some of the greatest saints were the greatest sinners and I think that is because they lived lives with PASSION! When you give everything over to sin, then have an encounter with God, you already know what it is to give everything and you know, now, how to give everything to God. Not because He asks for it, but because you WANT to because you love Him, too.
It's just an act of the will to actually do it. To give Him everything, knowing He loves you and has given you everything.
That is what I aspire to.
And every time I fall or decide to walk away, He is still there. Every time I doubt, He is still there.
Waiting.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Behind the Music #1: Like No One Else
The next few weeks, I want to focus on explaining the meaning behind the songs on our new album, set to be released on October 27th! It was a labor of love with much sweat and tears. We cannot thank our financial and spiritual supporters enough.
This is the first song on the album, *Like No One Else*. I wrote the words and music, but as he usually does, David took the music and made it more interesting. David hears the music in layers, but I hear the music with space. Somehow, through many fights and prayers and love, the two come together!
This is the meaning behind, *Like No One Else*...
David and I met on a Catholic dating website called Ave Maria Singles but a bit before that, I was dating someone I thought I would marry. When that didn't work out, I decided I needed to concentrate on my relationship with God. I needed to fall in love with Him again, because I hadn't been as close or as faithful to my relationship with Him in awhile.
This is the first song on the album, *Like No One Else*. I wrote the words and music, but as he usually does, David took the music and made it more interesting. David hears the music in layers, but I hear the music with space. Somehow, through many fights and prayers and love, the two come together!
This is the meaning behind, *Like No One Else*...
David and I met on a Catholic dating website called Ave Maria Singles but a bit before that, I was dating someone I thought I would marry. When that didn't work out, I decided I needed to concentrate on my relationship with God. I needed to fall in love with Him again, because I hadn't been as close or as faithful to my relationship with Him in awhile.
I was one of those girls that once I experienced my first relationship, I felt I always needed to be in a relationship. Very little thought or discernment was put into getting into those relationships, though I really did try my best to make them work even if I knew deep down it wasn't a good fit. I thought the easiest and best way to be loved was to have a boyfriend!
During the time of singlehood that I had before I met David, I realized through lots and lots of prayer that I would not be able to really love someone unless I loved the Lord. I knew that He needed to come first and I wanted a man who would put God first too. For the first time in my adult life, I felt completely fulfilled by the love of God. I didn't need a guy. I was satisfied and whole.
Fast forward to meeting David.
David was the first guy I ever dated that I was afraid would break up with me. Why? Because I knew he was also whole and completely satisfied in his relationship with God and His love for Him. I knew we were two whole people coming together that loved each other, but didn't NEED each other. It was a new territory for me!
When we married, I had another realization.
I still couldn't love David if I didn't love God first. He can't love me if he doesn't love God first, either. This love is not just a feeling, but a deep self-sacrificing, free, total, faithful decision to love!
"Can you surrender, can you close your eyes and fall back into my arms?
Can you let go enough to fly
And let Me love you like no one else can?
Let Me love you like no one else can."
When we put the expectation on anyone but the Lord to love us the way we need to be loved all the time, we will always come up unsatisfied. I'm not just talking about intentionally or unintentionally hurting one another, I'm talking about even just being tired and not loving to the fullest of our capacity! But God can love us like no one else can. David and I could both know that if our relationship hadn't worked out, we would have been okay, because we would still be loved.
Sometimes we harden ourselves to love because of those past hurts, but God who Himself is love will never leave you wounded. All throughout the Gospels we see the Lord reaching out to the most "unlovable" and that love brings those people healing, drastic life changes, and peace. We will do crazy things for someone we love and God's loves runs so deep that He gave His only Son. For us.
I can't imagine that. I can't imagine sending one of my children to die for anyone, even a close friend or family member. I am incapable of that kind of love. But God isn't!!
So, what have you got to lose.... let Him love you like no one else can!
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Weightloss Journey week Two
Starting weight: 185
Last week: 181
This week: 179
Down 2 pounds this week, down 6 overall!
I have amazing friends who have been working out with me at 5am every single day except the weekends. I couldn't do it without them, because with nursing... 5am comes around pretty quick! We missed one day - due to Diego being up all night, but I just tried to stay active that afternoon and evening.
Diet-wise, I was pretty awful. Because nursing plus now exercising regularly takes so much energy, I have had a hard time not OVER-eating. Plus it was Lucia's birthday and we had cupcakes in the shape of a -- well, that's another story....A mom fail to say the least and if you saw it on Facebook, I promise it was a butterfly.
Then, day one of when I was going to start the 100 Days of Real Food menu, David decided to make dinner. David NEVER decides to make dinner on his own and even shop for the ingredients, so I couldn't pass that up. He made the same thing he made for me when we were newly married, six years ago (yeah, it's been six years since he made me dinner so I HAD to take him up on this romantic gesture!!) It was.....
......
English muffin pizzas! :P But they were good and I ate a lot of them because they are small.
So...... epic fail diet wise but this week has started off a little better. We had roasted veggies and pork chops and the pork chop recipe I found online was so gross that I ate a small portion. So there ya go.
Back to the grind!
See ya next week!
Last week: 181
This week: 179
Down 2 pounds this week, down 6 overall!
I have amazing friends who have been working out with me at 5am every single day except the weekends. I couldn't do it without them, because with nursing... 5am comes around pretty quick! We missed one day - due to Diego being up all night, but I just tried to stay active that afternoon and evening.
Diet-wise, I was pretty awful. Because nursing plus now exercising regularly takes so much energy, I have had a hard time not OVER-eating. Plus it was Lucia's birthday and we had cupcakes in the shape of a -- well, that's another story....A mom fail to say the least and if you saw it on Facebook, I promise it was a butterfly.
Then, day one of when I was going to start the 100 Days of Real Food menu, David decided to make dinner. David NEVER decides to make dinner on his own and even shop for the ingredients, so I couldn't pass that up. He made the same thing he made for me when we were newly married, six years ago (yeah, it's been six years since he made me dinner so I HAD to take him up on this romantic gesture!!) It was.....
......
English muffin pizzas! :P But they were good and I ate a lot of them because they are small.
So...... epic fail diet wise but this week has started off a little better. We had roasted veggies and pork chops and the pork chop recipe I found online was so gross that I ate a small portion. So there ya go.
Back to the grind!
See ya next week!
Friday, October 2, 2015
Pope Francis, Gays, and Kim Davis
This will probably be the shortest blog I have ever written...
One set of people is praising Pope Francis for meeting with Kim Davis, the Kentucky clerk who refuses to issue marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples. They say, HA! Stinkin' left wingers!
One set of people is praising Pope Francis for meeting with a gay couple and says that the meeting with Kim Davis was a setup. They say, HA! Stinkin' right wingers!
My point: WHO CARES?!?!?! He met with Fidel Castro too, folks! He met with a lot of high and low class saints and sinners.
That's the point though, isn't it? Jesus' love doesn't discriminate. Jesus doesn't say you're not good enough to be loved because your politics aren't in line with My Gospel. He doesn't say you're not good enough for Me to associate with because of the political implications of that association. He doesn't say you're not good enough for Me to love because of your sin. The Church doesn't have borders or left wings and right wings -- at least it isn't suppose to! If our faith tells us anything at all it should be that Jesus Himself aligned with the persecuted, the unloved, the unlovable, the outcast, the lost.
I don't know about you, but that's me.
The Pope, and all of us Christians who claim to represent Christ and be His hands and feet, and live out the Gospel shouldn't discriminate in our love either. Meet with Kim Davis and get to know her. Maybe you'll find you could love her even if you disagree with her. Meet with the prisoners. Meet with gay and lesbian and transsexual and immigrant and your neighbor for crying out loud.
Jesus didn't accept all forms of behavior and consequently, neither does the Church, however, Jesus RADICALLY LOVED all those He met, and if we are to be like Him, we MUST LOVE!!!!!!! We must love even those we find most unlovable. Jesus said even hypocrites love their friends, but we are called to love even our enemies. I don't think the word "enemies" just means those who hate us, but I think it means those who we ourselves dislike, hate, or find difficult to love. That love causes us to RADICALLY CHANGE OUR LIVES!!
Stop throwing the Pope's visit in other people's faces and take a look in the mirror instead.
Can you love better? I think you can. I know I can. Can you see the face of Jesus Christ in Kim Davis or Fidel Castro or Cecile Richards, knowing He gave His life for them and wants nothing more than to wrap His arms around them, too?
We politicize love and what do we get... gossip, hate, pain, division, pride.
I have tried to pray, "Lord, help me love this person! Help me see you in this person!" I fail, but I know I can't love God fully if I refuse to love His children. Knowing, as Catholic speaker Mike Patin says, "Everyone loves somebody, everyone has lost something or someone, and everyone is fighting a battle." You just don't know their battles, so please... no matter how fervent the disagreement, choose the higher road to try to love.
God is love and love is impossible without Him. Ask His help.
But stop limiting God's love. The Pope can meet with whomever he wants. He can extend Christ's love because ...
it belongs to EVERYONE. And we belong to God.
Amen.
One set of people is praising Pope Francis for meeting with Kim Davis, the Kentucky clerk who refuses to issue marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples. They say, HA! Stinkin' left wingers!
One set of people is praising Pope Francis for meeting with a gay couple and says that the meeting with Kim Davis was a setup. They say, HA! Stinkin' right wingers!
My point: WHO CARES?!?!?! He met with Fidel Castro too, folks! He met with a lot of high and low class saints and sinners.
That's the point though, isn't it? Jesus' love doesn't discriminate. Jesus doesn't say you're not good enough to be loved because your politics aren't in line with My Gospel. He doesn't say you're not good enough for Me to associate with because of the political implications of that association. He doesn't say you're not good enough for Me to love because of your sin. The Church doesn't have borders or left wings and right wings -- at least it isn't suppose to! If our faith tells us anything at all it should be that Jesus Himself aligned with the persecuted, the unloved, the unlovable, the outcast, the lost.
I don't know about you, but that's me.
The Pope, and all of us Christians who claim to represent Christ and be His hands and feet, and live out the Gospel shouldn't discriminate in our love either. Meet with Kim Davis and get to know her. Maybe you'll find you could love her even if you disagree with her. Meet with the prisoners. Meet with gay and lesbian and transsexual and immigrant and your neighbor for crying out loud.
Jesus didn't accept all forms of behavior and consequently, neither does the Church, however, Jesus RADICALLY LOVED all those He met, and if we are to be like Him, we MUST LOVE!!!!!!! We must love even those we find most unlovable. Jesus said even hypocrites love their friends, but we are called to love even our enemies. I don't think the word "enemies" just means those who hate us, but I think it means those who we ourselves dislike, hate, or find difficult to love. That love causes us to RADICALLY CHANGE OUR LIVES!!
Stop throwing the Pope's visit in other people's faces and take a look in the mirror instead.
Can you love better? I think you can. I know I can. Can you see the face of Jesus Christ in Kim Davis or Fidel Castro or Cecile Richards, knowing He gave His life for them and wants nothing more than to wrap His arms around them, too?
We politicize love and what do we get... gossip, hate, pain, division, pride.
I have tried to pray, "Lord, help me love this person! Help me see you in this person!" I fail, but I know I can't love God fully if I refuse to love His children. Knowing, as Catholic speaker Mike Patin says, "Everyone loves somebody, everyone has lost something or someone, and everyone is fighting a battle." You just don't know their battles, so please... no matter how fervent the disagreement, choose the higher road to try to love.
God is love and love is impossible without Him. Ask His help.
But stop limiting God's love. The Pope can meet with whomever he wants. He can extend Christ's love because ...
it belongs to EVERYONE. And we belong to God.
Amen.
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