Why I Don't Care if People Criticize My Family Size

Our family, just before we moved to Kansas, right after Elias was born. 

Here's the thing....

I hear and see SO MANY complaints from moms frustrated with the (often) rude comments people make about the number of kids they have, particularly if they are close together. Some of those comments include things such as..

"Haven't you figured out how that happens yet?"

"Maybe your husband should start sleeping on the couch."

"Wow, that's a big family." (Said at 3+ kids...)

"You have your hands full."


These comments which have been said to us even by people fairly close to us, don't bother me in the least.

Yes, I have figured out how that happens. (hehehe)

Yes, I do have my hands full.

It doesn't bother me because I am not at all surprised that someone can't understand why we would have three children in five years and still be open to more. When it comes down to it, there are a MILLION different reasons to NOT have a child.

Here are a few of ours:
1) We don't make very much money.
2) We have jobs that require odd hours and travel.
3) Our family lives far away and it could become fiscally impossible to visit them as plane ticket costs skyrocket. (Pun intended).
4) We are already out numbered, as parents.
5) Our house is small.

You get my drift.

So I can totally understand why someone would be surprised that we would be open to having more children. I don't fault them for it in the least, while there are more polite ways they could broach the subject, I love talking about our children and the joy they have brought to our lives. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that each child is a treasure for which we are so thankful, especially as I witness the painful, heart-breaking struggle of infertility.

Each child is SO UNBELIEVABLY different, and a lot of people don't understand that either. They think we just keep replicating the same DNA/person over and over again.... Procreating with reckless abandon, as my husband would say.  Each child, though, is uniquely different from the other, and their contributions to our family and society will be vastly different. Even my relationship with each one is very different. My oldest is curious and more anxious than his brother and sister. My daughter is perceptive and affectionate. My youngest is shy but learns fast. Simply because they look alike or come from the same genes means nothing in terms of their personalities!

Some people may see me dealing with a toddler meltdown at the grocery store and think, "I'm so glad I don't have kids!" As I, myself, am thinking, "What was I thinking, having kids?" HA!

But so many more will see our family laugh, go on adventures, pray together, comfort each other, and love each other and in wonderment say "How do you do it - live your dreams and raise kids?" They are part of the dream, baby. ;)

So maybe instead of taking offense the next time an offensive comment is made, let's use it as an opportunity for joy - remembering that each child entrusted to us is a gift and we chose to have them despite having a million reasons not to. The sacrifice that comes from being a parent is incredible. But the love in mine and David's household is multiplied by three.

Our cup overfloweth.

Sometimes also our toilet...

But it's worth it.


This picture was taken at a restaurant we visited after recording all day in the studio. This is what happens when someone else's kid is crying in the restaurant. ;)