Last year, I was reflecting on vocation and how each vocation looks very different from the other. The differences are obvious, but I wondered... what structures are in place in convent or monastic rule that are geared towards aiding the sister or brother to self-discipline/holiness. As I was reflecting on these things, I realized that each religious order has its own schedule and set of rules that they live by in order to stay organized, ensure adequate service to the community, discipline themselves to prayer and worship and study regularly, etc. I realized that even priests whose schedules vary greatly, are required to say the Liturgy of the Hours, which in itself is a loose structure for the day.
I really began to pray about how I could incorporate a schedule for our family and one day felt inspired to google something like.. "Family and rule of life". Up popped, Mother's Rule of Life by Holly Pierlot. (See Book Here)
It was literally an answer to a prayer! I immediately purchased the book and devoured it. We tried to implement it last lent, and then everyone was sick and then shortly after that we began to pack up our home to get ready to move to Kansas! The McHugh Mother's Rule of Life never stuck.
Now I feel called to pursue it again. It required a few transformations and confessions...
1) If I was being honest, my time at home was fairly wasted. I just didn't feel like cleaning. I was overwhelmed by having to do it day after day. I sat on the couch a lot and used the kids as an excuse to not really get much accomplished. During the summer, LIFE IS SO MUCH EASIER! Because we can go to the park and house stays much cleaner! :) Also, fewer clothes to wash in terms of bulk !
2) I realized that if my husband is at work all day. I should be at work, too. Not that I can't or don't need time to relax, but vocation is also work and I was beginning to slack off. Honestly, a lot of this has to do with that fact that I don't have school aged children and just didn't know what the heck to do with myself being home all day. I was going NUTS. To be fair, the kids were going nuts too.
3) My kids were watching too many movies. When we can't go outside I'm like... what are we gonna do... bake another stinking batch of cookies? I'm not creative. I really don't like crafts. Again, I just didn't know what to do with myself and winter/cold this time of year always gets me down in the dumps. I am really not a fan of packing up three babies and going anywhere, plus my kids or my husband and I were sick for almost a month, so we couldn't even invite anyone over!
Now, our schedule is simple and I'm not overly obsessed with keeping it, but it gives meaning and structure to each of my days. I've worked out almost every day for a month. The only day I didn't work out was when I was traveling to go record a theme song for LA Congress. This workout discipline has NEVER happened. My kids have begun to understand and know what is expected of them and when it is expected and that has made it easier to get them to learn what they are supposed to do, too!
Here is our schedule:
Mornings are TOTALLY flexible. Whatever time we get up, we get up. I'm not going to set an unrealistically early time because my baby still wakes up 3-4 times a night, toddlers wake up, and it's just gonna be how it is... I don't have anything SET in the schedule until 9am.
9am: Workout (This happens after breakfast and the workout is about 40 minutes, so I have wiggle room here)
10am: Clean an area of the house... Mondays= bedrooms, Tuesdays = bathrooms, Wednesdays = main rooms, Thursdays = kitchen, Fridays = Laundry, Saturdays = Catch up on anything I wasn't able to finish.
11am: Educational activity with the kids (We are working on Teach Your Kids to Read in 100 easy Lessons) Story time, game, cooking, etc... whatever we do must be with the goal of teaching them something and doing something constructive with them.
12pm: Lunch and Prayer
12:30pm Pick up
1:00pm Quiet Time. I pull out toys or books for the kids and they can do whatever they want as long as they are quiet and not into trouble ;) I will read, write music, or whatever I can do in that time that puts me in quiet mode if the baby cooperates -- working on making that time electronics-free for me -- no phone or computer!
2:00pm Music Time - Music lessons with the kids
2:30pm - 5pm I usually have music lessons, so I'll pick up and leave the kids to play and while I teach they can watch a movie.
5- 7pm Dinner prep and Cleanup
7pm: Bath, pick up bedrooms, stories, prayer
8pm: Bedtime for kids.
8:30 - 10:30pm unstructured couple time
Again, this is so general and loose that it has given me lots of wiggle room to fail but not so miserably that everything piles up on me. This is transforming our family for the better, but we still have lots of work to do before discipline as a virtue takes hold! We also are still working on better and more prayer time. I need personal prayer time and David and I need more prayer time together. So our schedule is imperfect, but we are working on it. Also, if we want to go out, we can.... if we have someone come over, it's not a big deal. I have stopped having all day cleaning days and for me, knowing there is a beginning AND an end to my cleaning time is really motivational!
So, this is the beginning to the McHugh Rule of Life! Now, off to convince my husband that the movie he is currently watching is boring...... HA :)
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