My great friend, Deanna, who has a wonderful blog here had a question for her Facebook friends about whether or not handholding during the "Our Father" was appropriate or not at Mass.
Many people responded, but the most impassioned responses were from people longing for a sense of connectedness with their brothers and sisters at Mass. They longed for community and experienced this by holding hands in prayer.
I have always had mixed feelings on the subject, but tend to lean towards the fact that it can be very distracting, especially at the obligatory gentle squeeze at the end. AH! WHO STARTED THE GENTLE SQUEEZE?! Now, though, my kids see other people holding hands and they want to hold hands too! I'm not going to stress out about it, but to me, and as revealed in many of the responses to Deanna's question, it makes the Our Father all about, "me." My focus isn't heavenward - it is on the people around me. It is my sweaty palms. It is their limp hand or overly tight grip. It's not on... Our Father.
Two things from that discussion jumped out at me....
1) We as Catholics STINK in a general sense at welcoming others. We have *our* parish, *our* pew, *our* parking space, *our* prayers and ritual. We fail to teach the guest or help someone new understand what is going on at Mass. We fail even to invite. Is it because we are insecure in our faith or is it because we are too secure in our routine? Are we sitting in our lukewarm pews, criticizing everyone else around us for not extending a welcoming hand or smile? Can't we introduce ourselves? Sure, it might be awkward the first time, but that's ok, because the second time... I know you and you know me.
Deacon Ralph Poyo does Parish Missions and Evaluations around the country. One of the things that he does upon arrival is attend Mass just like any parishioner, to see if he is welcomed or greeted to the Church as a stranger/someone new. During the Mission, he shares how he was treated and more often than not... he was ignored. Everyone at the mission feels ashamed that Deacon Ralph wasn't welcomed in their parish. They feel not only ashamed, but RESPONSIBLE. My husband and I called Deacon Ralph the "Chef Ramsay" of Evangelization because he tells you the Truth in a way that can bring you to your knees in repentance! (That's a good thing!)
We are new to our parish here in Kansas, and many people, not always knowing who we were, came up to us and introduced themselves, complimenting us for bringing our kids to Mass, or telling us not to worry if our kids were a bit on the noisy side that morning because "children are a blessing." It has been a fantastic experience to be on the side of the "welcomed." Now it is our turn to do the welcoming.
2) It broke my heart that something so simple and essentially impersonal as holding hands during the Our Father is the only time many people felt a sense of belonging or community. We live in a culture of isolation. We hardly ever talk on the phone even- why take ten minutes on the phone when you can send a ten second text message? I am soooo guilty of this! In our culture of isolation though, people are literally STARVING for community and relationships. We need so much stronger and deeper connectedness!! In Mass, we get that connectedness through the Eucharist! This is where our Lord makes Himself fully present in the Eucharist and gives Himself ENTIRELY to us and to our brothers and sisters. This unites Catholics all over the world, even if we don't speak the same language. This gets misunderstood and seen not as powerful as a physical gesture such as holding hands, because we FAIL TO ACT on the Eucharist that we have received. We fail to act AS the Eucharist we have received. Our job then isn't to quietly acknowledge that we are one body in Christ, but to recognize Christ in each other, and long to be with Him through each other, and desire that others experience the same thereby actively leading people to Him! Our Lord reaches out - He reached out on the cross, He reaches out to give us His Body and His Blood, and He reaches out THROUGH us!
Liberals are accused of putting the Body of Christ in community over the Body of Christ in the Eucharist. Conservatives are accused to putting the Body of Christ in the Eucharist over the Body of Christ in community. They are sadly, horribly, both misled. Catholics (because we don't have to be defined by American political lingo when we follow Christ) know that the two go hand in hand. We receive the Eucharist and in a Sacramental, visible, tangible way can recognize Christ in one another, sharing this Divine Meal and unity of Christ's flesh with our brothers and sisters in Christ. We literally share the same flesh and blood of the people around us - Christ's! It is more intimate than hand holding, but we don't recognize that because we pit the Body of Christ against Himself! We also don't recognize that because we don't recognize Christ in His Eucharistic Body (many Catholics don't believe in the Real Presence) or His Body in our fellow man/woman.
This brings me to the Philippines-- one of the most Catholic nations in the world, I have heard. We are brothers and sisters with these people who had babies ripped out of their arms and drowned. We are brothers and sisters with these people who are walking the streets like zombies with no idea where to go and who are in shock at the new world around them. We are brothers and sisters with those whose grief is so intense that they are searching for a reason to have hope. We MUST pray and fast and give. This is not an option. They are our family. Christ says that when one part of the body suffers, we all suffer. Our suffering at their pain should be keen, and if it isn't, we need to pray to love more deeply.
I just found out that NCYC is teaming up with Catholic Relief Services to put together 100k meals for the victims of the typhoon in the Philippines. That's awesome and especially great because some of us don't have much to give.
We must be the Body of Christ just as we receive Him.
"Go in peace to love and serve the Lord." -- GO!
*** UPDATE: NCYC WILL be teaming up with CRS. Info is here: http://www.ncyc.info/park/service.htm
To Give to CRS for Philippines Relief Effort, click here: www.crs.org
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