Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Let No One Have Contempt for Your Femininity!

As I was thinking about yesterday's blog on the "6 Reasons to Not Send Your Daughter to College" and the thoroughly heated debate the original article caused (hence my passionate urge to skip making my husband's dinner and spend the afternoon reviewing the article) I had some additional thoughts... not on the article per se, but on being a woman.

The article, written by a man, evoked quite a range of emotions from women, because he projected his own view of what a woman should be doing with her life. The article went beyond and around practical advice on discerning higher education for women --  he practically suggested he and all parents have the authority and power to choose for our daughters what they will do and become when they grow up. Taken a step further, he encouraged that men not send their wives out to work, period. Taken a step further the implication was a woman can make no other decision than to marry or enter a convent.

Aside from the multiple errors in the article itself, I think one of the reasons women in particular felt so passionately one way or another in reading this article comes down to this:

We are kind. We are smart. We are important.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made.

But we get bogged down and blogged down with people telling us what we should be as women or what we shouldn't be as women.

We get sucked into the guilt, because we aspire to greatness. We aspire to live out the dreams of our childhood in many ways.

When a little girl dreams about being a wife and mother, she doesn't dream about making a budget. She doesn't dream about conquering three foot high piles of laundry. She doesn't dream about colicky babies.

No.

Those would be the nightmares.

She dreams about being strong. Fun. Loving and lovable. Beautiful. Capable. Intelligent. Contributing something of value to the world around her.

But here we are... with all the so called progress made in women's liberation. And look where we stand..

Women are made to feel like failures for not working. The stay at home mom is somehow seen as the nanny, the cook, the maid.

Women are made to feel they have to be more like men. The pro-choice movement has thrived on trying to make a woman not equal to but the same as a man, by stripping her of her fertility and babies - the very thing that makes her completely unique from men. Because of this, men have been liberated of their responsibility to women and to the children they create with them. Women are expected to carry all of the responsibility alone, if she is left by the man she trusted her body and soul to.

Women are made to feel guilty for working when they have children at home. The workplace is not friendly to women. As I said before, work environments forget women are typically more productive in the same amount of time as a man because of their unique ability to multitask. Of course there are exceptions. My own anecdotal evidence... It takes me ten minutes to clean the kitchen. It takes my wonderful husband around forty. :) Women have made valuable contributions to society in and out of the work place, and I pray one day, rather than try to make women the same as men, the feminist movement will learn to fight for respect for our differences - our unique qualities that make us who we are.

There is so much demand on women. Be this, be that, be strong, be dainty, be bold, be sexy, be independent....

The only thing we aren't told is be yourself. Be what God has created you to be, not what the world demands that you be. You know the Bible verse that says, "Let no one have contempt for your youth..." Well, let no one have contempt for your femininity and your vocation! On the way to the cross, when Jesus met the women and children, Jesus told the women not to weep for Him, but to weep for their children because the day will come when people will say "Blessed are the barren and the breasts which have never nursed."

In this world we are darned if we do and darned if we don't and Heaven forbid if you have more than 2.5 children. You're practically the Duggars!

You are not a failure because you have chosen to work.

You are not a failure because you have chosen to stay home.

You are not a failure because you juggle both.

You are not a failure because you have a lot of kids and they wear hand-me-downs.

You are not a failure because of your infertility.

You are not a failure because you are domestically-challenged. Like me. ;)

You are not a failure because you would prefer to knit as opposed to read the news.

Stop letting people make you feel bad.

Matthew Kelly tells us that each situation we find ourselves in is a preparation for the next, with the entire process geared towards making us the best version of ourselves. Making us holy.

Making us saints.

Just remember...

"When you are who you are called to be, you will set the world ablaze!" -- St. Catherine of Siena.

A woman.


And... to end the day, a little video of my own little feisty woman and her brother having their first verbal confrontation... :P



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